Keep It Simple In Uncertain Time of World

We've taken the words of the Gloved One to heart, -- and he's got a good point. However, there are a lot of issues floating around these days that aren't quite that simple.

These are gray times we're living in, my friends.

We have a war with an unidentifiable end or enemy. We have studies that show our president might have not been elected democratically. (I know, I know, "Now is no time for partisanship." Yeah, yeah, yeah.) We're not sure whether safety is more important than civil liberties.

The gray matters of the time (and I'm not talking about Lenoir tortellini filling) are wracked with conflict over the complicated stuff. To tell you the truth, sometimes I want to make like an ostrich and hide my head in the sand.

There are many ways of dealing with the gray areas -- I'm beginning to prefer the fingers in the ears, high-pitched humming method: "LALALALALA! Do you hear someone talking about tough moral issues? I sure don't! I can't hear you!"

Now I am a concerned citizen -- I keep abreast of issues, read a couple of papers and try to be involved. But right now I'm feeling a bit of uncertainty overload. Perhaps it's because of exam time. Perhaps I'm just a weak-kneed pantywaist. Perhaps the stress of attending a raging pinko radical training ground like UNC has gotten to me. I can't deny that I'm craving some all-or-nothing, easily identifiable good-and-evil, cut-and-dry things to think about.

I'm just exhausted, worrying about questions that no one can answer. Ever heard about the experiment where a mouse was driven insane by being constantly held in the balance, having nothing solid to stand on? I don't have to press a lever to get food, but I'm still feeling that mouse's pain.

Right now, I'm taking a breather. I'm in a state of "progressive denial." I'm at that point in my conscience that says "For now, just go watch 'Mama's Family' reruns for a while. Ain't no shame in it."

What helps is to focus on the things I am sure of -- don't let your head hang, cowboy -- refuse to lose attitude.

At the moment, I'm focusing on the certainties. What is unsettling is that there are so few of them.

I'm looking for the chance to have things divide easily into two categories: good and evil.

For example:

Good

Sweet potato casserole
Bill of Rights
Western North Carolina
Naps

Evil

Club Remixes
All-Nighters
World Oppression
My "Glamour Shot" photo from 7th grade (which my Mom displays in not one but three places in the house)

Now that wasn't that hard, was it?

I am reminded of an event that occurred on the homefront a few years ago. My Dad had inexplicably become a huge fan of the band Jethro Tull. Anyone who has ever heard this band knows why these were dark days for the Fornoffs.

Eventually we were forced to stage a family intervention: We made him quit cold turkey. It was tough going for a little while there, but like Plato, he saw the light and banished all five CDs. And it was great.

Quitting Jethro Tull would definitely fall under the "good" category.

So I say we stage an intervention on a more grand scale. It's impossible to put a stop to the uncertainty, this I know. What we need is to work on the endless pundits who talk and say nothing, the articles that work to create hysteria, the companies that are capitalizing on paranoia.

What's frustrating is some of the foundations of our country, including the shiny gold belt buckle on the American cowboy are being threatened. What is more certain or more cut and dry than our Bill of Rights and our democratic system? Even those seem to be in upheaval, and that is a very scary thing.

So no, we shouldn't quit paying attention. Apathy is the worst thing we could have right now. I reckon I'll come to learn that there are very few things easily divided into black and white, good and evil, cut and dry. We are inundated by gray issues, which can easily become exhausting. And that's one thing I'm sure of.

Erin Fornoff can be reached at fornoff@email.unc.edu.