What's Inside Of You? Time To Find Out

Instead I'd like to refer to myself as Keninem -- and I have a guilty conscience.

I'm guilty of living in the past, in reliving the good old days of the early '90s.

You remember, back when we were having a dope time in the fifth grade, sitting at those little desks with the built-in cubbies to hold every piece of paper containing the useless long division problems we accumulated throughout the year.

Oh snap. Those were the days of no responsibility, man. When we could recite every verse of "Ice Ice Baby." Come on, some of you can still say the lines with perfection. I'll start:

"Alright stop: collaborate and listen/Ice is back with a brand new invention/Something grabs a hold of me tightly/Flows like a harpoon daily and nightly/Will it ever stop?/I don't know/Turn out the lights/And I'll glow ..."

Well, that's enough of that, I now have to bring your attention back to the point of the column, which I know is probably useless at this point because I'm sure you are all trying to figure out the next line of "Ice Ice Baby." Guess what, that's OK, you should hold your head up high for doing so.

When we let people see who we truly are, we maintain the acceptance of those who already give it to us and alienate those who didn't give a damn about us in the first place. Unfortunately there are some whose inner consciousnesses do not represent good intentions, and you may say it's better for them to keep their thoughts inside instead of broadcasting them.

I'm calling them all out for who they really are. I'm going to make them feel as guilty as Milli Vanilli for lip-syncing. Everyone knows someone they can make feel culpable.

For example, student elections are fast approaching. Maybe you know a candidate who one year claimed to be your friend under the pretense of benevolence only to dis you as useless in his attempt to become "King of UNC."

We also are in the midst of fraternity rush, so when you're at one of those parties, do what is right and call out the person that tries to be tight with you one minute only to project his own failures on to you the next. You know who I'm talking about: the guy talking about how he got five girls' numbers and you didn't. That's wiggety-wiggety-wack, yo.

Or you can even draw attention to a coach you may have called God one year only to find out that he was human -- who would've thought?

I myself would like to call out those people that thought they were disciples -- only to find out that they were blue devils' advocates, so to speak. Thus I encourage those true basketball fans to stick with our team through adversity rather than riding the bandwagon.

It is in calling out these people and getting them to realize their guilty conscience (much like Dre in the Eminem video) that they understand that they can use it for good. My friends and I are a good example.

See we're a close group, but even we have guilty consciences. So you know "we gotta pray just to make it today."

Actually, its more like we're "too legit to quit," calling each other out on our misdeeds. That's what makes us tighter than the whole Saved By the Bell gang (with the unfortunate exception of a Kelly Kapowski, I might add). It is in realizing that we have this guilt that we can all work and live with each other. So I must ask you: Can't we all just get along? (Yes, I know, yet another allusion to the early '90s.)

However, this is where I will do my job this semester. I will call your attention to everything from society's guilt for institutional racism to your homie's guilt trip at a frat party. All right, Nor-Car-o-lina, you betta raise up. Whoops, wrong decade; put your shirts back on!

How about instead you free your mind so the rest can follow you as we uncover the secret of the ooze (in this case, our consciousness). All right, let's kick it for another great semester. Word to your mother and peace in the Middle East!

Kenneth Chandler is looking to bust a move with anyone else who wants to uncover their own consciousness. Reach him at kchandle@email.unc.edu.