The Daily Tar Heel
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Friday, March 1, 2024 Newsletters Latest print issue

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The Daily Tar Heel

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Show Me the $

Boom Boom
A Yemeni al-Qaida suspect blew himself up with a grenade as he tried to escape from police. Tip: After you pull the pin, throw the grenade away.

Speak No Evil
Enron chief Ken Lay took the Fifth at this week's congressional hearings and refused to answer questions. Instead, he mimed his testimony.

Almost Over
Tuesday's runoff will finally bring an end to the seemingly endless parade of posters, forums and baby-kissing. At least until next year.

Tar Heel Quotables

"I don't think student government is a Rubik's cube that's hard to figure out."
Will McKinney
No, student government is more like Battleship -- you blindly fire away until your administration sinks.

"On average, a hookup is kind of random. That's the beauty of it."
Junior Elyse Ribbons
Expounding on the virtues of meaningless physical contact. It's almost as beautiful as waking up the next morning and finding out you have crabs.

"I am so happy. For the first time ever, I am speechless."
Jen Daum
On learning she would be in the runoff. And we would all be happy if all student politicians were similarly affected.

"We are riding the tuition train, and you better get out of our way because we have people coming."
ASG President Andrew Payne
Warning state legislators who ignore students. Would that be the Little Train That Could Make Good Soundbytes?

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Special Print Edition
The Daily Tar Heel's 2024 Music Edition