Mr. Caulton's sagely suggestion cautions the penis-wielding portion of the population of the perils of perusing porn. On the other hand, maybe it's not just porn he's talking about -- I'm not sure I'd associate with someone who enjoyed watching thrillers like "FernGully 2: The Magical Rescue."
What is more interesting here is the irony inherent within Mr. Caulton's brilliant snippet of wisdom. Mr. Caulton is expressing his concern for an individual's privacy -- whether you're watching boring, monosyllabic-dialogue porn or stupid no-plot sequels to pretty worthless to begin with movies -- what you watch, and essentially, what you do is your business. Hello, 14th Amendment.
The irony? David Caulton is the lead program manager for Windows Media -- this means he's in charge of making Windows Media Player, which now keeps track of the music and movies you play. Hence, his warning to you about not letting the wife know about the "things" that Microsoft diligently logs and (apparently) will not sell to interested parties.
There's no question about it -- we're getting screwed royally. Privacy is being squelched openly and blatantly by both government and corporations for, naturally, the most utilitarian reasons. The whole DVD thing really is a minor hit to privacy, though. Consider the surveillance network currently being set up in Washington, D.C., and while you're at it, make a note to address your tax returns this year to "Big Brother."
For the uninitiated, the D.C. network connects hundreds of surveillance cameras in and around public areas, including schools and monuments. Pretty soon, every single private surveillance camera -- in banks, hotels and apartments -- will be connected, creating a great eye, lidless, wreathed in nondescript grey plastic and blinking red lights.
The most disturbing thing about the end of constitutionally protected privacy as we know it is not that the FBI can now spy on tourists at the white marble towering penis that sits on the Mall. Rather, what's most disturbing is the D.C. police department's plan to use face recognition technology (FERET) in concert with the network. Of course, FERET will only recognize the bad guys.
OK, one major problem here: The network might be for spotting criminals and terrorists in the crowds, but it does a better job of persecuting the innocent than it does intimidating the guilty.
Worst of all, FERET is a successful technology like the rhythm method is a successful form of birth control. Government studies, conducted by the Department of Defense and the National Institute for Standards and Technology, have suggested that "these systems, even when tested in far more ideal conditions than exist at a bustling airport, would miss a high proportion of suspects ... " Sweet, chalk up another one in the "smart government initiatives" column, right below subsidizing Amtrak.
The icing on the cake however is that I'm Asian. Well, Korean, but that always sparks the dumb question, "oh, North or South?" Why does this matter (not the North or South thing but the being Asian thing)? Because the lovely folks who run the country, bless their white hearts, can't tell me apart from the other 3.5 billion Asians in the world -- and over half of them are female!
