Should People Marry or Just Stay Single?

However, since we're officially entering engagement season (it runs concurrently with March Madness), I'm going to share a few things that I've picked up over the course of the past few minutes.

I fully encourage you not to take anything I say here seriously (as in I just gave a friend the lovely advice to break up with someone after falling in love for the first time, for no apparent reason) because neither I nor The Daily Tar Heel want to be held responsible for destroying your love life.

Today's topic is nothing more than answering the age old question of "Should I get married?" Or better yet, this is simply known as the rules of engagement (very different than the movie with Samuel L. Jackson by the same title). And as a self-proclaimed expert in my weight class (super middleweight) I'm going to suggest a few things that are so stunningly obvious that you'll be reaching for some (insert name of drug).

Prior to even contemplating "popping the question" (Isn't that a legally retarded expression?) you must make sure that you are in a position to get married.

There are two basic demographics who should never consider this.

If you don't have a girlfriend, proposing marriage might not be right for you. Please ask your doctor about the side effects.

Going along with this theme, it is never acceptable to ask your Britney Spears poster or blow-up sheep, no matter how appealing the option may seem.

Also, I personally frown on asking someone in the event that you're already married. Your wife might not be too fond of the idea, either. In fact, not following this tidbit could be hazardous to your health.

Provided that you don't fall into one of these camps, you might be a candidate for proceeding to step two of this process -- buying the ring.

Now, rings are complicated, but I'm going to do my best to explain them to you.

Any reputable jeweler will tell you about the "4 C's" when it comes to making your diamond purchase. They are (in random order) carat, cuteness, cost and cringing. You want to get as many of these C's into your engagement ring as possible.

If you don't, you might quickly find yourself in the "without girlfriend" category mentioned above. Don't let this happen to you!

Also, when it comes to rings, there are several different cuts to consider. I'm not really sure about any of them, but I do think it's a good idea that the ring is round. Otherwise, she might have a hard time wearing it.

Also, keep in mind that the ring will cost you roughly the same as acquiring a small nuclear arsenal on the black market ... but that shouldn't deter you (too much). I just thought I would warn you.

Once you've managed to finance your ring (it's traditional for your bride-to-be's father to hold your kidney as collateral), it's now time to present it to your girlfriend.

There are good ways to do this (romantic stroll along the beach, walking hand in hand, talking of your past and future together, dropping to one knee and asking her to spend eternity with you), and there are bad ways to do this (feeding it to your dog and then a few days later telling her to go to the backyard to try to find a surprise). I will leave this for you figure out as the how-you-propose decision is very personal, though I personally recommend the use of a drunken mariachi band.

The good news is that if she says yes, your part in the entire scheme of things is over.

Next comes the wedding planning stage. It is important to keep in mind that, no matter how much you want to help, you're not going to do anything right in this part of the game ... so don't even try.

This means you should just sit back, sip on a nice frothy beverage and enjoy the ride.

Travis Raines has done some in-depth research into this topic as he's proposing to his girlfriend Thursday.