South Carolina's hunting season opens March 15, and North Carolina's hunting season follows closely on April 13. UNC students who are generally more concerned with excessive alcohol consumption, long power naps and new episodes of "South Park" now experience a drastic change in behavior. Apparently, this demanding type of hunting requires the utmost in physical conditioning, and students everywhere seem to be rising to the occasion.
Curious to find out more about this phenomenon, I spoke with many new SRC users about exactly what drives this radical change in behavior. The response I was looking for came in an instant: "I've got to get in shape to get after these chickens over break." "Chicken" is obviously hunter's lingo for the elusive wild turkey that so many students will soon be seeking.
During my visits to the gym, I was quite taken aback at the vigor with which these new patrons were going after their workouts. The looks of urgency and aggression I read on countess faces could only be compared to that of a slack student right before a final.
These people had known in the back of their minds for some time that hunting season was just around the bend but hadn't quite found time to get fully prepared. Now that the turkey season is approaching, eleventh-hour improvements are students' last chances.
As mentioned before, our populace of UNC hunting diehards doesn't stop at merely improving physical fitness. These fanatics' efforts extend to camouflaging their own bodies.
It's been tough to find an open spot at any of the innumerable tanning beds in the Chapel Hill/Carrboro area for several weeks now. Many consider this measure unnecessary and hazardous to one's long-term health, but true commitment doesn't come without sacrifice. Skin cancer is a long way down the road, but wild turkey hunting season is now.
While the zeal over turkey hunting season is quite apparent, one would expect to find some opposition at a liberal school like UNC. And after extensive interviewing I found that this view was well-represented as well. One young woman's response to my questioning about shooting wild turkey stands out: "Yeah, I tried that once. And believe me, once was enough. I found myself puking for six straight hours. You won't find me doing that (expletive) again." Apparently, this young woman was so disgusted by taking part in the slaying of innocent fowl that she was moved to physical sickness.
While there are strong views on both sides of the fence in this issue, others have treated the upcoming hunting season with general apathy. A few men and women told me they were not embarking upon the rigorous training programs and starvation diets that others have been using to reach peak physical condition. They explained that if they can't cut it as they are, then they aren't worried.
As one person put it, "If my big ole' gut isn't good enough to find some action, I've always got my good friend Budweiser to fall back on." While I wouldn't personally endorse mixing beer and high-powered rifles, I suppose we all should strive to get the most out of every moment.
