Bowles, UNC Students Think Alike About Campaign Issues

The campaign to become the next U.S. senator from North Carolina has become uglier than a Duke student on oxy-cream. It now seems that the question of who will be elected likely will depend on who voters dislike the least.

Which is unfortunate, because Erskine Bowles is a really nice guy. Everyone should like Erskine, because he's a lot like you or me.

I know it sounds hokey, but when you take a look at the facts, the similarities between Erskine and your average UNC student are striking. We could probably double for him in a lot of situations.

We'd just need Austin Powers-style glasses and a thin hairline.

Consider the following ...

Do you love your grandparents? Sure you do. So does Erskine Bowles. That's why he's sick of them having to drive to Canada to buy medication.

The only time you should leave the country to buy drugs, you should be heading to Amsterdam. To keep poor Granny off of I-95 and back at home baking cookies, Erskine supports the McCain-Schumer bill that would bring generic drugs to the market sooner. We could save the nation's grandparents $71 billion over 10 years. That's a lot of cookies.

Erskine also opposes privatizing Social Security. According to The (Raleigh) News & Observer, if Social Security were privatized in July 2002, the guaranteed monthly benefits for the average N.C. retiree (read: grandparent) would fall from $814 to $440 per month. I think we can all agree that our grandparents deserve better.

Still not convinced Erskine is just like you or me? Are you in favor of clean air and water? Absolutely. And so is Erskine.

That's why he's looking forward to going to Washington to fight against President Bush's Clear Skies Initiative.

Fight against something called a Clear Skies Initiative? But why? Surely this initiative would not be a euphemistically named and thinly veiled attempt to roll back a generation of progress in environmental protection?

Unfortunately it is. Calling this thing the "Clear Skies Initiative" is like calling the Chapel Hill Town Council's plan to ban duplex construction the "Welcome Students Initiative."

The Bush plan would lower air quality standards and allow the Tennessee Valley Authority to choose whether to clean up plants that are polluting N.C. mountains rather than mandating that they do so, as Erskine advocates. Almost none of these polluters are even located in North Carolina. The smog just drifts up from Tennessee and other states to destroy places like the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, which recently was shown to have the poorest air quality of any park in the country.

So not only are we not getting jobs from these plants, we're also destroying one of the most beautiful parts of our state so some yokel in Chattanooga can squeeze out a bit more profit. Think that's pretty screwed up? So does Erskine. North Carolina should send someone to the Senate who will fight for a better situation.

Enough about politics. Who likes Dean Smith? If you don't like Dean Smith, quit reading. Seriously, put down the paper and go away.

Now that we've gotten rid of those who have an unpronounceable last name starting with a "K" and who look like a ferret, we can get to the important things.

Erskine Bowles also likes Dean Smith. Perhaps more importantly, Dean Smith likes Erskine Bowles. In fact, Coach Smith has wholeheartedly endorsed Erskine while that "K" guy has come out strongly for Liddy.

This is especially telling considering that last month Erskine coached a squad of 11-year-olds to a 31-28 victory over Smith's team of similarly youthful players. No one likes to lose, least of all Coach Smith, but if we fail to send Erskine Bowles to Washington we'll all lose out on a great senator.

 

Reach Dan Harrison at dsharris@email.unc.edu.