Trying Not To Lose U.S. Senate Race

In late October, aggressive political advertising teams up with something -- maybe partisanship, maybe influenza -- to produce our lone entertainment before fall network sweeps.

But something went terribly awry in North Carolina, and it wasn't because of the postponement of the primaries after the redistricting brouhaha. In simple terms, we got stuck with robots.

Two officious, highly educated, detailed, mechanical and prescribed personas like this meet in Southern Senate races once in a blue moon.

But strangely, Republican Elizabeth Dole and Democrat Erskine Bowles each deserve Helms' seat as much as any two non-deserving people ever could.

Neither candidate has walked the tightrope of North Carolina's fiery political grill. Both are more Connecticut than Cumberland. Neither really makes much sense -- a huge contrast with the succinct and clear-cut Sen. John Edwards. Basically, both seem like they received persuasive phone calls from their respective state party organizations.

"Mrs. Dole will you please consider replacing Jesse Helms. You won't lose -- unless of course you do." Or "Mr. Bowles, can I call you Erskine ... ?"

So here we are with a week and a half remaining before Election Day, and neither candidate wants to really step up and win this election. Supposedly, it was Dole's to lose. Well, it was -- but right now, it's Erskine's to win. Both are supremely qualified to politick in Washington, but neither has any clue how to gain distance in North Carolina.

Three results of the dawdling:

First, ads that are less biting than gnawing. Two maelstroms have sprung from these lackluster advertisements. (And for the most expensive Senate race in the nation, they certainly lack luster).

The most recent ad involves former Democratic Senate candidate and N.C. Secretary of State Elaine Marshall. A Dole ad shows Marshall criticizing Bowles, a former investment banker.

"I'll never trade North Carolina jobs for Wall Street profits," she says in the ad.

Marshall has asked the Republican Senatorial Campaign Committee to stop running the commercial.

Something akin to this happened during the spring when Senate Republican leader Trent Lott objected to a commercial showing a picture of him and Bowles celebrating the balanced budget agreement of 1997-98. Lott flipped out, but the Bowles campaign continued to run it.

Wow, is everyone exhausted? Those controversies were practically orgasmic. Sure, both Marshall and Lott were right for complaining. Yet, we all missed the issues that we ought to discuss -- Trent Lott is crazy, and rural North Carolina needs Wall Street more than it will ever know.

Second, awfully dull debates. The first at Meredith College was closed to the public and only later was a video released to the plebeians. Gee, thanks guys, you don't mind letting us watch, do you?

The next debate, at East Carolina University, had an audience and a brief question-and-answer session that was imbecilic, as was the entire discourse of the 58-minute event. Bowles is quite fond of the word "infrastructure," as in the various "infrastructures" eastern North Carolina need to pull themselves out of the rut left by the shipment of manufacturing jobs overseas.

Dole was keen to point out that she actually has a detailed plan for a tobacco buyout for state farmers while her opponent only has suggestions.

The high point had to be when an audience member asked Dole what issue pertinent to women and/or minorities she would like to see addressed. Not surprisingly, Dole quickly spun it back to the "Dole Plan," Liddy's plan to "create jobs and ensure economic security."

That's about as exciting as it got.

Third, fear.

Dole and Bowles are so afraid to get down and dirty that neither has reached down to pull up their bootstraps. So, come Nov. 5, the best candidate won't be elected. North Carolina's new senator will be the one who did just enough not to lose.

Nathan Perez can be reached at nperez@email.unc.edu.