One in four women will be raped during their lifetimes. That does not include attempted rapes, sexual harassment and other forms of sexual assault. The statistic does not warrant feeling from many people, though. People don't believe it, think it's exaggerated or don't even know it.
Rape is the worst form of robbery, stealing a person's dignity and personal privacy. Unlike being robbed of your wallet, the degradation doesn't stop after the scene is over. A woman claiming she was raped often is chastised for "lying" or accused of exaggerating what happened.
The assumption that women like men to dominate them keeps rape thriving and also reflects why rape victims are not taken seriously. The notion that "she liked it" desensitizes us to the seriousness of the crime.
Then there are our misconceptions of rape that encourage our rape culture. The scary stranger hiding behind the bushes will not account for the 25 percent of women raped.
A woman's best friend, boyfriend or trustworthy male in her life likely will. That is rarely taught, though, so when trusted men commit the crime, many women don't believe rape is the right definition.
No wonder date rape is the most common but ignored form of rape. Women do not expect trusted people to rape them, and because of it many women never are aware they were victims.
The most effective enforcer of rape, however, is silence. If a women decides to come forward and admit she was raped, there is a stigma attached. It's all in the questioning.
Questions rape victims are asked are not just questions but have undertones that it was her fault, not a big deal or both -- Why did you go to his room? Why didn't you scream? Did he put a gun to your head or hit you? Why didn't you go to the police? Why did you take so long to say something?
Someone robbed of jewelry does not go through the third degree. It is assumed the person is vulnerable for being victimized. Why then are rape victims so often treated as if they are the offender themselves?
