Valentine spirit endures

In the midst of today’s overwhelming divorce rate, two local couples’ lasting marriages give reason not to give up on love.

Dorothy Bernholz, who works at UNC Student Legal Services, met her husband, Steve, in 1961 when they were both undergraduates at UNC. He was dating one of her Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority sisters at the time but soon became more interested in dating Dorothy, he said.

“I called her up quite a few times, and she wouldn’t respond,” Steve said. “Finally, she agreed to go have coffee with me at Lenoir Hall.”

The two were married less than a year later. Because they had different religious backgrounds and were still in school, they decided to keep the marriage a secret from their families.

“We were scared to death of our parents,” Dorothy said. “We thought they would disapprove.”

The couple kept quiet for more than a year until Dorothy became pregnant with their first child. When they finally did reveal their secret, their parents were accepting.

“I think my parents were surprised, but they liked Dottie very much, so they got over the surprise,” Steve said.

During that time, getting engaged in college was important to most women, Dorothy said. “There were 10 men for every woman at UNC,” she said, laughing. “If you couldn’t snag one, you were dead. But of course, that’s not why we got married.”

After graduating college, the couple had another child and went on to graduate from law school.

The couple admitted they were surprised by the number of failed marriages in recent years. “Marriage is hard work,” Dorothy said.

“It’s not all roses and valentines. So many people are willing to just walk away. But Steve and I have had an awful lot of fun together.”

“If you stay married long enough, you’re rewarded by things like that,” Steve said as he pointed to the picture of their 2-year-old granddaughter on Dorothy’s office computer screen. “Wouldn’t you say that’s just the cutest girl you’ve ever seen?”

Doug and Olga Eyre, who are both 83 years old and will be celebrating their 60th anniversary in May, have also thrived over time.

They met during World War II while Doug was involved in the military in northern Virginia. Olga was working as a civilian for the war effort in Washington, D.C.

“What attracted me to him was he played softball on the office’s league,” Olga said. “He was a mighty good softball player.” Doug noticed Olga later in the office.

“She had a nice figure,” he said. “She had to deliver messages to my department. She caught my eye.”

The two married a year later in 1945. “We came out of the church, and they brought a car for us,” Olga said. “He didn’t know how to drive, so I had to drive. Everyone laughed at that.”

Doug and Olga had three children and moved to Chapel Hill in 1957, when Doug took a job at UNC.

“In our generation, it was an accepted fact that when you’re married you’re supposed to stay married,” Doug said. “It’s about a companionship, shared memories, shared experiences.”

One memory that sticks out in their minds is their 50th anniversary. Their daughter and her husband threw an elaborate, WWII-themed surprise party. The 300 guests dressed in period uniforms and wore official WWII dog tags. During the party, two parachuters dropped down from the sky to join the guests. They danced to 1940s hits and enjoyed the nostalgia.

“They played ‘God Bless America,’” Doug said. “There wasn’t a dry eye in the place. It was a party to end all parties.”

As far as they know, there will be no huge celebrations for their upcoming 60th anniversary.

“My daughter’s very clever,” Olga said. “We need to be careful because she’s sneaky, and she’ll plan something we don’t know about.”

As for Valentine’s Day, Doug and Olga will not be exchanging mushy cards or sharing a fancy dinner.

“We’re romantic, but not in that way,” Doug said. “Plus, too much chocolate makes you fat.”

 

Contact the Features Editor at features@unc.edu.