A look into the crystal ball

To find out what’s going to happen in the NCAA Final Four, you could wait until the games this weekend, or you could read ahead and find it out early from the Nostradamus that is The Daily Tar Heel.

So here follows the future, as told by Your Boy.

Arizona exposed Illinois for the huge joke that they are. Let’s not forget that these Tar Heels beat this exact same Fighting Illini team last season and that Sean May ripped them apart for 23 points and 14 rebounds.

Channing Frye, who is a good player but doesn’t come close to May, abused Illinois, and at one point they even put the 6-foot-6 Rev. Roger Powell on him under the basket.

If it wasn’t for a huge choke job from Lute Olson’s boys, Illinois would be crying on the bus all the way back to Champaign.

Deron Williams — who looks like a slimmed-down version of Big May — Luther Head and Dee Brown are all very dangerous players, but the lack of interior presence will come back to hurt the Illini.

While Kentucky has superfan Ashley Judd, Illinois has the ultimate stud in Hugh Hefner. Anybody who can parlay a degree from Illinois into a polygamous life surrounded by scantily clad women is all right in my book.

While everybody is looking toward an epic UNC-Illinois finals battle, they will all be disappointed as Rick “the Godfather” Pitino will lead his Louisville squad over Illinois.

I wouldn’t be shocked to hear that Bruce Weber woke up with a severed horse’s head in his bed on Saturday morning.

The Cardinals deserve respect because they might be the first team since my fourth-grade squad to have two guys who wear Rec-Specs.

Pitino, whose impeccable style and raspy tone of voice reminds me of about 10 kids I graduated high school with in North Jersey, is hands down the best coach in the country, and he’s the only coach left who can win a game for his team.

There has been no better coaching performance in the tournament than Pitino’s against West Virginia. Louisville had to change its entire game plan midway through the contest and still came out on top despite the Mountaineers shooting an absurd 18-for-27 from long range.

With his Lawn-Guyland roots and his undeniable coaching ability — the man did take Providence to the Final Four — Pitino will get the best out of his Cardinals, and Illinois will sleep with the fishes after Saturday.

No team has ever beaten Duke and Kentucky in the same NCAA Tournament. That is, until this year’s Michigan State squad.

If the Spartans can pull off the upset, they would have defeated arguably three of the top five programs in college basketball history in consecutive games.

However, that isn’t going to happen, as the Tar Heels just have too many athletes for the Spartans to handle.

Michigan State starts a freshman point guard, Drew Neitzel, who is afraid to take a shot and who will have fits trying to stop Ray Felton.

Izzo seemingly has no confidence in Neitzel’s backup, senior Chris Hill, as he was yanked from the contest against Kentucky after a late-game turnover.

The only way Michigan State can win is if they shoot as well as they did in the second half against the Wildcats, and that isn’t likely.

Shannon Brown — who the announcers got confused with Maurice Ager simply because they were both wearing headbands — won’t be 8-for-10 from the field again, and while he is very athletic and talented, it won’t be enough.

The finals will be another great battle, but not even Don Pitino himself can stop this North Carolina squad.

As long as the Tar Heels keep feeding May — no pun intended — they will not be beaten.

Contact David Moses at dmoses@email.unc.edu.