Panel addresses parental concerns

While a forum hosted Wednesday by McDougle Middle School was geared toward helping parents with their middle schoolers, many parents were more concerned with high school safety.

The forum, called “Family Talk,” took on issues such as substance abuse, gangs, parent-teen conflict resolution and positive after-school activities. McDougle sponsored the forum, which featured a panel of four community members.

“All parents need help and support, and some more than others,” said Aviva Scully, a family specialist at McDougle.

Wednesday’s forum aimed to provide some of that support.

“We’re trying to get families more involved with each other and support each other,” said Kathleen Kauffmann, a sixth-grade guidance counselor at McDougle.

“We’re also trying to let parents know what’s going on in the community to help teenagers,” Kauffmann added.

The panelists discussed issues faced by parents and teens to the roughly 25 attendees and held an open question-and-answer session.

“It’s very hard to be a parent,” said Ruby Bugg, a panelist and the student assistance program specialist and counselor at East Chapel Hill High School. “You can have your best moment and worst moment in the same five minutes.”

Bugg emphasized that if a child makes a bad decision, it does not mean the child — or the parent — is bad.

Parents need to know that they first need to support their children to understand their problems, Bugg told attendees.

But parents must not shield their kids from problems, as that causes them to believe there are not consequences to bad decisions.

“Parents have got to give kids freedom, but also set boundaries,” Bugg said.

Panelist Matt Sullivan, a crisis counselor with the Chapel Hill police, said technology, specifically chat rooms and Web logs, and alcohol and substance abuse among children in grades 6-12 are especially important issues that should be monitored by parents.

In chat rooms, kids are exposed to sexual predators and other people they should not be in contact with, Sullivan explained.

Sullivan also warned parents to be careful not to give conflicting messages.

Dishon Cain a panelist from the Dispute Settlement Center in Carrboro, said to effectively communicate with a child, the parent needs to remain calm and be a good listener. Once the parent accomplishes this, the child will do the same.

The next step is to suggest and brainstorm solutions to any problems.

During the question-and-answer session, many parents voiced concerns related to law enforcement and juveniles and school safety.

Different law enforcement standards are applied to children of different ages. Juveniles who get in trouble before the age of 16 face smaller repercussions than those between 16 and 17, Sullivan said.

Some parents had concerns about safety in school and on school buses.

Sullivan said much of the violence in high schools results from substance abuse.

And while many schools have surveillance all over campus, trouble can still arise off school grounds.

“You’re exposed to alcohol and drugs mostly on the weekends at parties,” said Jackie Colvin, a senior at East Chapel Hill High School.

Drinking is a hobby for most high schoolers, said Alena Steen, a junior at Chapel Hill High School.

Most drink to relax and have fun, Steen said.

The Chapel Hill-Carrboro Board of Education is in the process of strengthening its districtwide substance abuse policy to improve rehabilitation and personal accountability.

Contact the City Editor at citydesk@unc.edu.