QuickHits for Sept. 24

John Edwards

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Rumor has it that John Edwards promised his mistress a rooftop wedding with the Dave Matthews Band. Wow, this would have been the hippest wedding around … if it were 1995.

Miley Cirus

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Our favorite teen icon
personally requested to wear jewelry from a Chapel Hill jeweler in her new “emo-edgy” movie “The Last Song.” A little teen angst? Nah, she’s just bein’ Miley.
 

YWC

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We can all breathe a sigh of relief. It’s great that Youth for Western Civilization has found three
potential advisers. Does this mean there are more
advisers than members?
 

Skateboarding ban

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UNC School of the Arts has banned skateboarding on campus. It’s annoying enough being run down by bikes on campus — the last thing we want is ollie-ing hipsters cramping our style.

Campus drug use

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According to a campus study, about 80 percent of students have had alcohol, nearly 36 percent marijuana and about 5 percent cocaine. Let’s see what happens to the Adderall stats when midterms start.
 

Alert Carolina

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Yay for Alert Carolina! Campus officials successfully tested the system Tuesday. Hey, professors: We swear all those text messages we were checking in class were just part of that system test …