Homecoming acts will underwhelm

I honestly don’t think I could be less excited about this year’s Homecoming.

Sure, the alumni will have their fun, reuniting with their former classmates, knocking back enough Bud Light to convince themselves they’re back in college.

And it’s certain that the town will be a bustle, bringing much-needed money into our economy.

But as far as what I see being offered by this year’s festivities, I’m not just underwhelmed. I’m downright embarrassed.

And it’s not the underachieving football team that’s got me pulling out my hair. It’s the shoddy selections for the campus’ two Homecoming concerts.

No matter your feelings on Sunday’s performance, I think it’s safe to say that almost everyone on campus envisioned someone with a higher profile than Fabolous.

Apart from dabbling exclusively in rap cliches and utilizing some of the most vapid, cookie-cutter beats I’ve ever heard, he’s also just not cool. Even when he’s hit it big as he did with 2001’s hardly club-worthy “Make Me Better,” no one’s taken him seriously.

I’m pretty sure the only people who considered that song genuinely artistic were middle schoolers chewing candy straws at dances, hanging on every word to hear the expletives missed in the edit.

In fact, Fabolous is such a thoroughly uncool choice that it makes picking an unsuccessful American Idol contestant seem hip. At least former Clef Hanger Anoop Desai will be making a homecoming when he takes the stage Wednesday.

And what’s worse is we know what could have been. Endlessly fun mash-up master Girl Talk and emotionally charged Kanye West protege Kid Cudi declined invitations from the Carolina Union Activities Board.

It seems that relevant and respected entertainers don’t think Chapel Hill is worth the effort, even when tens of thousands of dollars are on the table.

UNC needs to do better. Selecting the Avett Brothers last year was a savvy move as the thrilling Concord outfit is now breaking it big, but we’re still lagging behind our in-state peers.

Duke has done great things with its on-campus concerts, netting Girl Talk, Lupe Fiasco, Ben Folds and Third Eye Blind in the last two years to play its Last Day of Classes celebration.

In 2006, Kanye West made an appearance at UNC-Wilmington. 

Comparing UNC’s selections to these makes the school’s organizers look like they don’t even know how to turn on the radio.

It’s like watching this year’s Florida State football game. Even with every advantage — a packed home crowd, a huge lead — the Heels squandered the opportunity.

CUAB’s throwing away its chances too, and if things don’t change, they’re going to continue to get blown out by the competition down the road.

It’s a good thing the Victory Bell isn’t given to the school with the best concerts. If that were the case it would be tolling proudly in Durham right now.