Quick Hits for January 27, 2011

Green gowns

Duke University’s graduation gowns this spring will be made of recycled material. That’s nice, Duke grads giving back to the environment and all. It’s probably the only good thing they’ll do for humanity.

Carrier basketball

UNC and Michigan State are close to reaching a deal to play a game on an aircraft carrier next season. The Spartans’ navy was defeated soundly by the Athenians in 376 B.C., so this should be a piece of cake.

$250,000!

An N.C. State student recently earned $250k as an undergrad! Unfortunately, he earned it trafficking marijuana and told that to a cop. UNC even traffics better drugs than State. Skiing, anybody?

Stocks are up

The Dow broke the 12,000 mark for the first time since 2008. Sweet — hopefully we’ll be able to get a bunch of corporate jobs, earn loads of money, then get to watch basketball games in the Dean Dome without binoculars.

Candidate haikus

Brevity isn’t really part of running for SBP. Sixty-page platforms and lengthy platitudes are. No wonder only half could make up a haiku and recite it at the DiPhi forum Wednesday night. Gotta do better, candidates.

Chicagoland

An Illinois court recently struck down Rahm Emanuel’s bid for Chicago mayor, ruling a candidate must actually live in the city for a year prior to the election. I bet Rahm misses the good ol’ days of Daley and the machine.