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The Daily Tar Heel

Dive's guide to Valentine's Day '11

ONCE UPON A TIME, a greeting card company wanted to make more money off of lovelorn suckers, and thus, Valentine’s Day was born. Or so the folklore goes. But don’t let our sarcasm get you down — whether you’re a dour cynic or a sugar-coated, candy heart romantic, this week’s Dive is your guide to suffering or smooching through this controversial holiday. If you’re catching a flick with the object of your affection or drowning your sorrows in a box of drug store chocolates, check out our picks for dates, movies and songs and wallow or swoon to your heart’s content. Single or taken, the month of February has its fair share of cringe-inducing cuteness, so read on for a much-needed reprieve.

Entertain your date

If you’re wooing the Carolina girl

As you escort her from Granville to La Residence, fling a fleece over her shoulders. It says consideration but projects affection. She had Busch and Burnette’s last night, so treat her to some Smirnoff and she’ll be smitten. Stroll through McCorkle, but be wary of attempts to sit under Davie Poplar. — Joe Faile

If you’re wooing the cheap date

In preparation, check the paper and the Internet for restaurant coupons. On the day of the date, save gas and leave the car behind. Walking is far more romantic anyhow. Follow up your discounted dinner with a three-dollar movie at the Varsity and a moonlit stroll back to his or her place. — Tom Bodo

If you’re wooing the intellectual

Your summer abroad has put you in touch with other cultures, so share some “authentic customs” you learned for sharing affection with your date. Close the night with “Dr. Strangelove” and remind her that Chaucer was the first person to have a written record of Valentine’s Day. ­— Lyle Kendrick

If you’re wooing the music lover

Even if you’re short on cash or creativity, a date with a music geek is easy. Head to Carrboro’s All Day Records and pick out a record or two from its great selection of used vinyl. Take them back to your place and listen to it together — bonus points if it’s over a homemade dinner or dessert. — Allison Hussey

If you’re wooing the Valentine’s amateur

Sad but true — there are some poor souls out there who have never done Valentine’s Day up right. For the amateur, cook heart-shaped pancakes for dinner and grab some red velvet cupcakes for desert. If you’re willing to shell out some dough, spring for flowers, chocolate and the cheesiest teddy bear you can find.

Entertain yourself

WATCHTHESE:

‘Punch Drunk Love’: Lena (Emily Watson) tells Barry (Adam Sandler) she wants to “chew your face and scoop out your eyes,” as Barry discloses his urge to “smash [your face] with a sledgehammer and squeeze it.” After ripping apart our Hallmark conceptions of romance, Barry remarks, “OK. This is funny… this is nice.” ­- Rocco Giamatteo

‘High Fidelity’: After attending the funeral reception for his ex’s father, Rob (John Cusack) and his ex end up having sex in the car to relieve her sorrow. It’s a raw scene that captures the spirit of a dysfunctional relationship that’s both bitter and loving. – Mark Niegelsky

‘Avatar’: Maybe it’s the white jellyfish floating around, the soothing James Horner soundtrack, or the fact that it gave on-screen sex a whole new dimension — either way this was an important moment in movie history. Nerds, environmentalists, and moviegoers alike can rejoice in this intercultural union. – Lyle Kendrick

PLAYTHESE:

• “Owner of a Lonely Heart” — Yes
• “Epitaph for My Heart” — The Magnetic Fields
• “Heart” —Last Year’s Men
• “Hungry Heart” — Bruce Springsteen
• “Black Heart” — Calexico
• “Keep Me In Your Heart” — Warren Zevon
• “Listen Heartbeat” — Cassis Orange
• “Heartbreaker” —Girls
• “Olive Hearts” — Bowerbirds
• “Heart of Sadness” — Sonny and the Sunsets
• “Affair of the Heart” — Rick Springfield
• “Heart to Tell” — The Love Language
• “Heartache” — J. Cole
• “Wholehearted Mess” —Bear In Heaven
• “My Heart is Yours” — Holy Ghost Tent Revival
• “Two Hearted” — Punch Brothers
• “Secret Heart” — Feist

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