The Daily Tar Heel
Printing news. Raising hell. Since 1893.
Saturday, May 4, 2024 Newsletters Latest print issue

We keep you informed.

Help us keep going. Donate Today.
The Daily Tar Heel

Boo, everyone

4719_thumbsdowno.jpg

Tuesday night, Duke faced off against Kentucky in the Georgia Dome in a battle between two of the most odious programs in all college basketball. To make matters worse, Duke ­­­— the greater of two evils ­— ultimately prevailed. While watching the game, the only thing we were rooting for was the roof to collapse.

GOBBLE GOBBLE

4722_thumbsupo.jpg

Thank God for Thanksgiving. Turkey, football and napping are a more then welcome respite from bad ramen, exams and adderall-induced all-nighters. The single bad part is having family members ask what you’re doing when you graduate. The only solution is to have too much cranberry sauce in your mouth to respond.

Good judgment

4719_thumbsdowno.jpg

Speaking of our friends down the road, one of Duke’s women’s lacrosse players had the good sense and cultural sensitivity to wear blackface as part of her Halloween costume. Adding idiocy to idiocy, the picture was uploaded onto Duke’s official athletics website. And they wonder why people hate them …

Help flood victims

4719_thumbsdowno.jpg

Last week, Granville Towers East flooded, causing 140 students to be relocated. Most of them are now staying in luxurious five-star penthouses ­— LOL JK, they’re living in HoJo. Having to live on South Campus from the start of the year is bad. Having to move there after seeing the light of North Campus? Poor souls…

Sic semper tyrannis

North Carolina residents, among those from other states, have gathered enough signatures on a petition asking for secession that a White House official has to respond. Way to avoid political apathy, y’all. But did none of you ever take a history class? The whole secession thing ended pretty poorly last time.

He’s a keeper

One of our fellow Tar Heels has qualified to compete in the Quidditch World Cup this April. We’re always happy to see UNC athletes (?) succeed, but we’re also concerned. Do you not remember what happened at the last Quidditch World Cup?! Don’t let anyone named Barty Crouch anywhere near the field.

To get the day's news and headlines in your inbox each morning, sign up for our email newsletters.