Tis the season to be a Republican. With healthcare.gov about as popular as ConnectCarolina at registration, the shutdown long gone from the average voter’s mind and higher incomes than Democrats, the GOP should be enjoying the holiday season. This Christmas, I’m asking for some things money can’t buy — unless we’re talking a couple million in campaign donations.
1. Real N.C. tax reform: While I think any move toward tax reform is good, this year’s N.C. tax reform could’ve been so much better. Tying future tax rate reductions to revenue goals was a brilliant move, but actual tax reform means lower rates, a broader tax base and no loopholes or deductions. Instead, we got a sales tax that misses most of the 79 percent of our economy that is service-based and penalizes us even more for eating at Lenoir.
2. A Reagan-Bush ’84 T-shirt: Yes, that probably makes me a complete douche, but Reagan’s 525-electoral-vote victory represents the last time a lot of people were actually proud to be Republicans. Bonus points if the shirt comes with a pocket on the front.
3. Comprehensive immigration reform: I’m not talking straight amnesty here, but the GOP’s answer to the president’s de facto DREAM Act can’t be that the 12 million illegal immigrants living in the U.S. will simply deport themselves. Just hoping they’ll leave is about as useful as the current tactic of telling us why the Senate’s comprehensive reform is going to ruin our country.
4. Parrot AR.Drone 2.0: Despite my reservations about using drones to bomb Afghanistan back to the Bronze Age, the Parrot’s utility as a personal amusement/creeping device makes it more than worth its $300 price tag. Did I mention the built-in HD video camera?
5. An N.C. charter school boom: The fact that Democrats are fighting tooth and nail to pour money into a public education system that was built as an Industrial Revolution daycare should make you uneasy. With its post-Katrina charter school makeover, New Orleans’ experiment with school choice should be an interesting barometer for the future of public education.
6. An internship with Goldman Sachs: Just because I’m soft on social issues and the environment doesn’t mean I’m anything other than a cold-hearted Wall Street Republican.
7. Cap-and-Trade: Of all the schemes to reduce carbon emissions, cap-and-trade makes the most sense. Heavy polluters will absorb the externalized costs by paying for more emissions permits, and those working to reduce emissions can benefit by selling their own.
While I’m not entirely sold on the idea that humans are carbon-emitting themselves into an untimely extinction, I’d rather hedge my bets with cap-and-trade and not take that chance.
