Column: When keeping it real goes right

Race is something we cannot ignore. At a predominantly white institution located in the South, most people don’t know what it’s like to attend UNC as a person of color. I reached out to underrepresented groups of people who I knew would have something to kvetch about. Here are some of their submissions:

That awkward moment when everyone turns around to look at you when your race is mentioned in class.

I might as well wear a big sign with the pronunciation of my name spelled out on it.

No, eating ethnic food from places on Franklin Street does not make you “cultured.”

White people want people to stop talking about Ferguson, but they won’t shut up about their pumpkin spice everything.

To the people of Policy 210 who think they are actually helping poor people with their policy proposals: Please take a step back and understand what it actually means to be poor first.

Why do people seem to care more that their gluten-free hummus is organic than about unarmed kids being killed in the street?

If white people are making fun of white people making fun of white people, then who’s driving the car?

White people, if you don’t try to stop your racist friends from being racist, then it doesn’t matter how many black friends you have. You’re doing it wrong.

Frat guys defend their freedom of speech so they can hold their racist (insert stereotype) party, but cry discrimination when called out on it.

Dear white people, when you ask whether it pisses me off when you mispronounce my name, what the hell are you thinking?

To any exchange students: I apologize that you had to learn the hard way that young, white, southern, American males dress like fathers who have run out of time to care what they look like.

I’m not actually talking to you, white person, I’m talking to White people with a capital “W”.

UNC’s Study Abroad Program, also known as the White Savior Program.

Cocking your head to the side and adding extra vowels in words will not make me understand you better.

There were 98 incoming black freshmen males last year, but people who are biracial don’t count? Guess I’ll go turn in my black card.

Watching sorority girls bike to Uganda makes me thankful for the day we learned how to harness the power of white guilt.

AAAD: The only department more diasporic than the people it studies.

White people, if you’re confused about white privilege and how it works, just pretend you never knew about it and continue on with your life. Oh wait...

Send your one-to-two ? sentence entries to ?ishmaelgb@gmail.com,? subject line ‘kvetch.’