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The Daily Tar Heel

Column: Self-care is not self-indulgent

 "I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival.”  —Audre Lorde

It’s a situation that most of us are all too familiar with: coping with the many stressors of our daily lives by indulging in a bit of self-care.

Oftentimes, when we hear the word self-care, we think of face masks, shopping sprees or fancy bubble baths. But what is self-care, really? 

Society has blurred the lines between self-care and self-indulgence by framing self-care as a luxury and converting it into a consumable product. 

The internet is littered with listicles offering self-care tips such as a $23 “bath tea” or an $80 face mask. Search #selfcare on Instagram and you’ll find almost 20 million posts. Self-care has, in many ways, become yet another means of conspicuous consumption, a trend that’s been watered down to be palatable to the mass market. 

In fact, the self-improvement industry is worth nearly $10 billion and counting.

When we treat self-care as a commodity, it becomes an exclusionary practice; a privilege. Rather than valuing it for its intrinsic benefit, we see it as a status symbol or something to show off on our carefully-curated Instagram feed. 

The high price tag we’ve attached to self-care makes it inherently inaccessible to a wide range of people. It’s become a lifestyle reserved only for those with the financial privilege to sustain it — white women in particular. Self-care should be for everyone — not just for those who can afford it. 

Self-care is more than spa days and expensive skincare routines. In reality, the definition of self-care is remarkably fluid. It’s whatever you want or need it to be, and it doesn’t have to cost anything at all. 

For me, it’s journaling, making my bed, eating breakfast — simple, everyday rituals that yield mental wellness and stability. These are not indulgences, but necessities. By filling my own cup first, I’m able to pour more of myself into others. 

Ultimately, self-care is the love we save for ourselves. It’s our need to endure, to invest in our own well-being, despite society’s expectation of submission and self-sacrifice. It goes against everything we’ve been conditioned to believe — that we should suck it up, internalize everything and put the needs of others before our own. 

Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s self-preservation. The truth is, it’s hard to love ourselves, especially in a world that tells us we can’t afford it or don’t deserve it in the first place. But to consciously love ourselves anyway — that’s resistance. 

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