Column: In memory of Babes Who Blade

Babes Who Blade was a Facebook group that comprised over 7,000 members, most of them UNC students. To be eligible for membership, one had to be a “babe” – a term the group constructed to denote “anyone who isn’t a cisgender male.”  The DTH published an editorial about it two years ago – and every word rang true, right up to the moment of the group’s deletion this past weekend. 

The sudden and explosive demise of Babes Who Blade has sparked intense discussion across social media platforms. 

Below is a requiem, written in iambic pentameter.        

The Stanford prison study can’t compare 

its show of humankind in disrepair

to this famed group of seven-thousand strong –

our source of spicy discourse, three years long.

For entertainment and procrastination,

Babes Who Blade was the premier destination.

Bored in class, you’d pull out your device  

Scroll through the sales, discussion and “advice.”  

You’d find some helpful content there, no doubt:

tips and tricks you couldn’t do without.

With odd requests for help, the page would fill –

predicaments worthy of Dr. Phil.

“Babes who [noun],” these anon posters would say;

their deepest woes and worries they’d relay.  

In ethics, finance, gynecology,

commenters always shared their ~expertise~.

Inevitably, people got defensive;

their vicious arguments became extensive.

They’d fight, pontificate, scold and browbeat;

this group made “The Real Housewives” obsolete.  

 

Heartbreaking cries for help would oft come through:

“Guys, I’m distressed, I don’t know what to do.”

Ne’er to skip a beat, mods would reply:

“Check your privilege, babe – you can’t say ‘guys.’”  

One might say this group aimed to be inclusive

By enforcing rules made to be conducive

to a safe haven for minorities –

But some say this group lost priorities.  

A platform for white women to act “woke”

and disregard the POCs who spoke –

did racism count less for this committee

than body positivity for kitties? 

On May 16, mods put a notice up,

banned usage of the word for “female pup.” 

The comments quick became a dumpster fire;

it’s safe to say a full-fledged coup transpired. 

The mods created one last cryptic post; 

they hit “delete,” and Babes Who Blade was toast.   

When hist’ry books recount how this unfurled,

They’ll call it The Bitch Heard Around the World.

@maryking__

opinion@dailytarheel.com