Column: How I survive embarrassment

Kendall Jenner changed my life. 

I don’t really keep up with the Kardashians, nor do I read about the sisters’ lives besides the occasional clickbait article on my news feed. Despite this, Jenner was able to shine her celebrity wisdom on my insecure little brain in a big way. 

It was a few years ago. A clip of Jenner reviewing her past fashion decisions for a Vogue video was on the screen in front of me. 

“Stop,” Jenner gasped as she flipped to a photo of her wearing a "Mad Max"-style dress and space buns, “This was Coachella 2016. This was the vibe at the time, okay? You need to understand.” She defended her outfit to the camera, but she wasn’t embarrassed.

And I did understand. I saw her. I knew what she meant. It was a vibe at the time.

For whatever reason, this mindset resonated with me so closely that I have channeled it into my life almost every single day.

I have had my fair share of gasp-worthy moments in the past. Did I wear yellow corduroy bell bottoms with cowboy boots and a jean jacket to my LFIT class last year? Yeah, I did. 

In hindsight, someone should have stopped me. My friends, classmates — maybe campus security. Anyone could have told me I looked like a banana. But guess what: "It was a vibe at the time."

Did I ramble and tell corny jokes for an entire lunch with my new friend from class, only to realize I talked for 45 minutes straight for literally no reason? There might be a slight chance that happened. But I had a great time at that lunch and I can't help that sometimes I am annoying. I was having fun and nobody was harmed. It was a vibe at the time. 

In all seriousness, telling myself this truly does help. Last year I joined a stand-up and improv comedy group on campus, which was probably the most embarrassing thing that I could do to myself. But I got to spend hours every single week laughing with people in preparation for our show at the end of the semester, so it was a pretty good deal.

Before the show, I hyped myself up. Even if nobody in the audience thought I was funny and I was the only one having a good time for those two hours, I spent my Friday night having an awesome time regardless. If people chose to dislike the fact that I was trying to make them laugh, the worst-case scenario was not half bad.  

I performed my first-ever stand-up set. I told stories I never thought of telling my close friends, much less to an audience. I embarrassed myself. It was awesome. When I look back on that night, I don’t feel upset or ashamed. It was a vibe at the time. 

Of course, this mindset comes with restraints. I didn’t have malice when I wore that horrible outfit and was not trying to harm anyone when I talked to my prospective class friend for nearly an hour. That would not be a "vibe". I am talking about situations in which you wake up in the morning and go “Oh my god I can’t believe I told my crush about my digestive problems at the bar last night.”

My roommates and I have a tactic for exactly this situation. When we feel anxious about something from the day or night before, especially embarrassing moments, we sit together and say them. Then, we write them on notecards and put them in a container in our living room. 

Going through this process, hearing what others regret doing versus what I feel anxious about, puts things into perspective for me. Whatever I find embarrassing, my roommates might never think twice about and vice versa. We remind each other that if we were having a good time, what we wrote down on the notecards was not embarrassing, but it was a vibe. And that’s just my Two Spence. 

@dthopinion | opinion@dailytarheel.com