In the very first entry of this blog I posted the early trailer for the “A Nightmare on Elm Street” remake. Unfortunately, the latest trailer has done nothing to allay my skepticism of the film, primarily because the remake lacks the most distinctive element of the franchise: Robert Englund. Most slasher-movie villains like Jason and Michael Meyers are simply mute, hulking brutes whose personalities rely on appearances, not words. Englund’s Freddy Krueger is iconic, speaking frequently and creating a persona that was chilling and darkly comic. As this new trailer shows us, Jackie Earle Haley’s Krueger just can’t compete. Haley sounds exactly like the Rorschach character he played in “Watchmen” and doesn’t seem to bring any of Englund’s macabre wit to the screen. It may still be too early to judge, but this remake looks to be entirely disposable.
Nicolas Winding Refn’s “Pusher” trilogy was weird and violent. He directed last year’s “Bronson,” which was weird and really violent. He’s directing the new film “Valhalla Rising,” and the new sneak-peek for it is really weird and really violent. I’m noticing a trend. Starring Mads Mikkelsen as a supernaturally-skilled warrior, “Valhalla Rising” has a mystical plot of Viking vengeance and a whole lot of brutal stabbing, clubbing, and disembowelment. Really, I haven’t seen anything this unapologetically gory since “Ichi the Killer.” This actually came out last week, but I couldn’t find a YouTube embed link until now.
On a totally different note is “The Joneses,” a new comedy about a seemingly perfect American family that’s actually a stealth marketing team with the goal of pushing the latest and coolest products on their suburban community. I suppose it’s supposed to be a comment on American consumerism, but all the trailer really did was remind me of what a smug-looking bastard David Duchovny is. He’s perfect for the role of a shallow and materialistic suburbanite, so I’m not entirely pessimistic about this film, especially because it has Gary Cole in a supporting role.
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