.5 Stars
Nicolas Cage has never chosen movie roles with the gravitas of an
Oscar-winner, but in what can only be excused as a desperate attempt to
finance his notoriously lavish lifestyle, “Season of the Witch” emerges as
the low water-mark of the acclaimed actor’s career and prompts the question
of whether the tide is going out for good.
Cage and Ron Perlman star as Behman and Felson, a pair of wisecracking
knights who spend over a decade rampaging through the Holy Land during the
Crusades before realizing they might not actually be doing God’s work. In
order to be pardoned for their desertion, the duo is tapped to transport a
suspected witch (Claire Foy) to an isolated European monastery for trial
and likely execution.
Though talented actors, Cage and Perlman never take their roles seriously,
half-heartedly lopping off limbs and giving off a strange buddy comedy vibe
while spouting dialogue that seems unsuited to a supernatural thriller.
Case in point: this is a movie that has 14th century knights suggesting a
priest looked “like someone pissed in his holy water.” All the actors drop
their accents on whims; Liverpool-born Stephen Graham’s theoretically
Eastern European merchant inexplicably sounds like he reached Europe by way
of the Brooklyn streets.
There are moments of unintentional hilarity such as fistfights with
supernatural wolves and a character deflecting numerous crossbow bolts
before randomly dropping his sword with a sigh and dejected look. For each
minute of fun, however, there are ten minutes of boredom and clumsy
attempts at religious commentary.
The witch brings a deadly plague to every town she comes across. Like its
titular antagonist, “Season of the Witch” seems to herald something
similar: the January movie dead-zone.
before randomly dropping his sword with a sigh and dejected look. For each
minute of fun, however, there are ten minutes of boredom and clumsy
attempts at religious commentary.
The witch brings a deadly plague to every town she comes across. Like its
titular antagonist, “Season of the Witch” seems to herald something
similar: the January movie dead-zone.
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