Lexicon of YouTube comments

Thumbs up if you can’t watch a YouTube video without scrolling to the “Top Comments” section. This week, Dive looks at the most popular types of these most popular comments — specifically for music videos. Consider it our very informal study of modern music criticism. Also, congrats on being reader 4,840,080.

I Hate My Generation

These comments bemoan how out of touch the commenters are with contemporary music trends. They often specify the commenter’s young age, which somehow makes his/her appreciation of the song commendable:

• On Backstreet Boys’ “I Want It That Way”
  “I’m only 14 so I wasn’t even alive when they just started but I know all their songs, I have all their CDs and I love them to death. They’re so much better than those crap music nowadays!”
  - isntitironicTOTP3 18 minutes ago

• On Charles Bradley’s “The World (Is Going Up in Flames)”
  “im 25. but i’ve been waiting 40 years for this.”
  - IsleofRecords 18 minutes ago

Better than Bieber

As far as these commenters are concerned, Justin Bieber is a much-too- popular disgrace to sound. They want to shift his praise to the bands who “really” deserve it.

• On Spice Girls’ “Who Do You Think You Are”
  “dear god,please bring back the spice girls,in return we will give you justin bieber,amen”
  - 101hotsy 3 months ago

• On Snow Patrol’s “In the End”
  “It amazes me that brilliant songs like this get so little views and utter s*** like Bieber and Nicki Minaj get get hundreds of millions”
  - Luke47895 18 minutes ago

How I Got Here

These must be those people at parties who discuss which traffic routes they took to get there. Whether it’s Glee, a video game or “just your taste in music,” the impetus behind a video search is apparently something to celebrate.

• On Miley Cyrus’ “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”
  “Glee brought me here. It’s hilarious how differant they are.”
  - Orangeningadino1 8 days ago

• On The Horror’s “Still Life”
  “Thumbs up if your musical taste brought you here :)”
  - lapinobeug 4 weeks ago

Disliking Dislikers

YouTube’s tyranny of the majority: These comments take song lyrics and associate them with dislikers in an insulting way. The universal template: “(# of dislikes) people (insert incriminating lyric).”

• On Elton John’s “Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word”
  “66 people need to say sorry.”
  - krush4live1 2 years ago

• On The Black Keys’ “Tighten Up”
  “921 people smell like ranch dressing, and 84,357 people carry donuts in their jacket pocket.”
  - DavidMiller Project 24 minutes ago

Shut up and Listen

Some commenters don’t like YouTube comments. Naturally, they voice their concerns through the only means available to them.

• On A Perfect Circle’s cover of “Imagine”
  “SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO THE SONG!! im not gona bother reading but honestly fighting on youtube is lower then low. IMAGINE IF THERE WAS NO YOUTUBE it isnt hard to do”
  - KidsonCrack33 2 weeks ago

• On The Beatles’ “Blackbird”
  “lol there never really is any need to scroll down on any song on youtube”
  - murkallmidsgrowers 6 months ago