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The Daily Tar Heel
The Onyen

Girl spontaneously combusts after being asked to make a decision

A girl was forced to make a decision Monday, sources say.

“Well, I guess you can't really say that she was forced to, because she still didn’t make the decision,” the girl’s friend said.

Monday morning, the girl was walking on Franklin Street with a group of friends trying to decide where they would go to eat lunch.

“None of us were really in the mood for anything,” the girl’s friend said. “We were just really hungry.”

After a few minutes of debate, the group asked the girl what she wanted for lunch.

“Oh, I’m really fine with whatever!” she said.

Having heard that line before, the group continued pressing on, insisting that if the girl didn’t choose where they ate they wouldn’t be eating lunch at all that day. 

One member of the group recalled saying, “Please, dear GOD, make a decision woman!”

“I really can’t choose! Everywhere sounds good," the girl said nervously. " I will be happy wherever we go! It's fine!”

Overcome by the immense pressure of having to make a decision for once in her life, the girl immediately exploded on the spot.

In reaction to the incident, the group released a statement.

“Honestly we're just pissed that she weaseled her way out of making a decision AGAIN," they said.

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