Help Prevent Sexual Assault
Dear Advocates for Sexual Assault Prevention, I didn't even realize what I was doing until I saw the sign: Orange County Rape Crisis Center. I could not believe that I was going to a rape crisis center. Somehow coming to this building and beginning this process made what had happened to me years before finally real, and I didn't like that feeling. It was a lot easier to try to ignore what had happened, but it was always there - every time I kissed another guy, every time I passed the place where I had been attacked, every time someone said the word "rape." I had been raped - a fact which I had not faced until now, until I saw the sign for the rape crisis center. It was not fair that I was forced to do this. I knew what terrible things sometimes happened to women - but never did I imagine that something like that would happen to me. But it had. And as I entered the rape crisis center for the first time and met the other anonymous, equally nervous women, all I wanted to do was go home - back to life in Carrboro and forget that I had ever been there. Ten weeks later, I emerged from that same place a different person - 10 weeks full of all the expected crying and Kleenex and also full of real joy and friendship. I could never tell what happened inside the walls of the rape crisis center, so I won't try. It is enough to say that it gave me hope for my future and myself. I am now able to really feel what happened to me. To grieve for the part of me that was lost. To understand the part of me that has changed. To comfort the part that still hurts. But, more importantly, I am able to celebrate the better parts of myself. The rape was a tragedy. But the healing process has been beautiful. And I am a better person for it. When I first entered the rape crisis center I was terrified to be there, but when I left ten weeks later, I was terrified to be without it . Sincerely, A Survivor * * * While this is a friend's story and not our own, it's a common story for those that have benefited from the Orange County Rape Crisis Center. This story of healing and survival is the reality for countless sexual assault survivors. Reality is difficult to face sometimes, especially regarding painful issues. We at Advocates for Sexual Assault Prevention are all too aware of the reality of sexual assault. However, we know that many students might not be, so we want to set the record straight. Reality check No. 1: Sexual assault happens to people you know. While you might think you don't know anyone who has been assaulted, you probably do. Rape is not something that happens in other places to other people who are different from you and your friends. It can happen to anyone; Chapel Hill is not immune to this. Does anyone remember BOLO? Reality Check No. 2: Rape is not a "women's problem" - it's a social problem with far-reaching consequences. It can lead to depression, suicide, fears of intimacy . the list is endless. And while we have the stereotype that women are the victims, up to 12 percent of men have experienced some sort of sexual assault or violation. Reality check No. 3: The rape crisis center needs UNC's support. The center depends on the sweat of its volunteers and generous donations to keep offering help to survivors. We at A.S.A.P. are hosting Night of the Divas, a fund-raiser for the center, at 7 p.m. Thursday in the Great Hall. Night of the Divas will feature UNC's and the community's finest dancers, dramatists and musicians as they show their diva style and sing, dance or act to raise money for the center. With a lineup including Opeyo!, Modernextension, blank canvas, Carolina Style Tap, Jazz and Ballet, Kamikazi Hip Hop and Mezmerhythmn, plus individual performers, it's a night you won't want to miss. The cost? Three dollars. That's less than a pack of cigarettes, less than one beer, less than a movie - for two hours of entertainment. You can still go out and celebrate your Thursday night, but come see the divas first. We could tell you all the statistics. We could tell you that one in four college women will be the victim of a rape or attempted rape. We could tell you that 68 percent of rape victims know their attacker. We could tell you that one in three sexual assault survivors are under the age of 12. But we aren't trying to frighten you with a bunch of numbers. We want to tell you that you can help. You can come to the Night of the Divas, bring a friend, enjoy the show, and know that you are doing your part to help a truly noble cause. We at A.S.A.P. are grateful to be able to give back to the organization which gave so much to a friend. Kathryn Kooistra is a senior women's studies major from Cary. She is the co-chairwoman of Advocates for Sexual Assault Prevention. Reach her at kooistra@email.unc.edu. Kindl Shinn is a sophomore history and political science major from Concord. She is a member of the Night of the Divas steering Committee. Reach her at kshinn@email.unc.edu.