DIVE Oscar picks 2012
Best picture
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Best picture
I wrote this column for an assignment in ENGL 316 (“Rhetoric of Love”), which explores how rhetorical discourses shape and constitute peoples’ understandings of love.
A wise prophet named Tyler Durden once said, “I want you to hit me as hard as you can.” Moviegoers want just the same from action films.
“The Artist” is not a cool or interesting movie. In fact, it resents such accusations.
“Tower Heist” lets moviegoers have their cake and eat it too, aligning them with average Joe characters pitted against Wall Street’s one percent while dazzling them with slick heist sequences. It’s a con deftly pulled off by actors who invite you to disregard the implausibility of their task, and you wind up stuffing yourself with an enjoyable but ultimately unmemorable cinematic treat.
Bruce Robinson probably penned “The Rum Diary” script listening to Tom Waits and staring at a Puerto Rican sunset. Hunter S. Thompson probably wrote the original novel sipping whiskey and staring into another dimension.
Depending on how you spin it, “Dream House” can either be the most underwhelming movie audiences will see this year or a top contender for the worst.
Audiences for a movie called “Shark Night 3-D” probably don’t ask for much: Some gore, a few underwater shots, and maybe a nude scene with uninhibited spring-breakers.
Every good movie review begins with a statement of how every good movie review begins. The next sentence suggests what the second sentence should suggest. And the last one should always be some sort of pun.
The laws of physics maintain that it’s impossible to create something out of nothing. But alas, “Somewhere” would be nothing if not for its nothingness.
Spring break can be a mixed bag. On the one hand, there’s that posse of friends who are Bahamas-bound. Then again, there are plenty of folks stuck in town or at home, wallowing with roommates or parents. Whether you’re voyaging or wanderlusting, Dive’s got some tips on how to maximize your break, be it the best traveling records or easy day-trip or weekend destinations. So don’t be blue if there are no exotic beaches in your future. Even Chapel Hill can feel tropical when there aren’t midterms clouding your outlook.
“Compelling” is one of those empty words often assigned to films which keep your attention without delivering on their promises. That being said, “Unknown” is extremely compelling.
When Michelangelo finished his masterpiece in the Sistine Chapel, Pope Julius remarked, “It really ought to be retouched with gold.”
Deaf lovers walk hand in hand toward the edge of a cliff. You call out to stop them, but they don’t hear you. So instead you revel in their love until they fall. And then you cry because you realize they weren’t blind.
If Superman were too timid to use his superpowers, he’d forever be a dreadfully average news writer named Clark Kent.
Oliver Stone is usually good about putting his money where his mouth is. This time, it’s all in counterfeit bills.
Mark Zuckerberg knows us beter than we know ourselves. He’s got over 500 million friends attesting to it.
Any true restaurateur will tell you that atmosphere is everything. Stouffer’s freeze-dried lasagna will taste like Italy’s finest if the setting is romantic enough.
Machete
Around 250 exorcisms are performed in the U.S. each year, which means that either a few hundred demons are deported annually or Americans subscribe to fictitious healing powers. With his uniquely minimalist approach to horror, director Daniel Stamm considers which of these possibilities is more frightening, creating a faux-documentary whose lo-fi realism and intimate performances compensate for a dearth of chills.