One of my favorite bands, White Lies, just recently put out a new album. And I’ve been obsessed with one of the songs — or maybe one of the lyrics.
“‘Cause you know that something’s wrong. You’ve known it for a while,” they sing.
This semester, something’s been wrong. A lot of things, to be honest. I didn’t want to return to school this year. I was burned out before I started. I spent over two hours on the phone on Sunday night with my friend from Arizona while I listened to Mariah Carey on repeat, talking about how we need to move because we’re done with our lives in the places that we currently live.
Right now, I’m in a transitional period. I’m on the verge of a very bad semester and on the brink of a semester that I can salvage.
As a Sagittarius and someone who goes through just a lot on a regular basis, I think that I’m a very positive person. One time, a boy on Tinder literally called me “oddly inspirational.” I think that’s true.
I sat on the quad on Monday. For the first time in my almost three and a half years here, I bought a coffee and went and sat on the quad to talk to someone whom I care about. It was 77 degrees. It was a beautiful afternoon in one of my favorite seasons in a place that's not too far from home. It was breezy and warm, but not too warm, and I heard people talking to their friends and laughing and enjoying each other’s company.
And it was really nice. And I felt like everything was going to be OK, for one of the first times this semester.
I think that on Monday, I accepted that this is a turning point, or that it can be. I have taken a lot of Ls this year, and that’s just objectively true.
But in the last few days, I’ve felt an overwhelming sense of love and support from my friends, some who are new to my life, some who have returned after some time apart and some who have been there since childhood. I’ve felt love from my family, who can tell that something’s been wrong. People have gone out of their way to let me know they’re in my corner. And that feeling, especially when unexpected, is amazing.
