If you haven't heard "new year, new me" six billion times since the start of 2016, you are living a charmed life.
Aside from partying hard and sharing kisses with strangers who are possibly harboring diseases, making New Year's resolutions is a big part of celebrating the start of a new year.
Most people get in the habit of making far-reaching, unrealistic resolutions and then have no way of actually fulfilling them.
Save the heartbreak and disappointing glances from your family and friends by trying these resolutions instead:
1. Hit “Reply” instead of “Reply All” in listservs
Quit being so anxious to reply to group emails and take time to use your higher education to read the additional word that will save your college career.
2. Not stealing your roommate’s stuff
First it was a Band Aid, then a pair of socks. Now you're stealing full-on outfits from their closet and the madness must stop.
3. Get hooked on dining hall coffee
Who needs Starbucks when you have Rams? The employees are nicer and would probably spell your name right on your cup.
4. 3:30 Power Naps
Stash a small and portable pillow in your backpack, stealthily retrieve it during class and take an express train to Sleepy Town. You deserve it.
5. Showering for class
This resolution will come in handy towards the end of the semester when you're prioritizing sleep over everything. Fight the desire to layer up in sweatshirts and coats and go out hoping nobody will notice your odor and #justdoit. Besides, they make soap in so many fun shapes and colors now it should be a blast.
6. Make a “money found outside of Alpine” budget
Save that $1.50 in quarters for when you're really craving a lemon Gatorade or Aquafina.
7. Get familiar with Rams Workout Plan
Exercises include the Cereal Bowl Bend and the One-Hand Pizza Lift.
8. Find the one
That is, find the bathroom stall that you'd be most comfortable crying your eyes out in when the going gets tough this year. (I recommend anything in Phillips Hall).
Don't lie to yourself — you probably won't do these, either. But at least you tried.
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