v.1 (Yiddish) to complain
I left my last microbiology class convinced I’m doomed to die of either botulism or rabies. Happy LDOC?
To my Computer Science 101 professor for NEXT SEMESTER: I’m pretty sure emailing students before they even start exams (for the previous semester) violates the Geneva Conventions.
To my fiance who starts finals this week: Save the D for when you get home.
Annoyance with elementary school field trips on campus during finals: A reminder of why college women NEED birth control.
To the girl who swiped me into Rams without even eating: You are a saint.
It’s barely Tuesday and I’ve already received a reminder about the reminders to remember to fill out my course evaluations. How about you just shoot me instead?
To the second-floor Connor singer, ruining people’s afternoon peace since August 2013: Stahp. Mumford is nice, but finals. Seriously.
#FreePJ? How about #YaBlewItPJ for doing something he knew was wrong and putting himself in front of the team.
I want to cry. I miss Reggie.
If watching “How the Grinch Stole Christmas twice in one day is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.” #CindyLouWHOAREYOUTOJUDGE
To my professor who gave me a C for being “too wordy”: Here is my revision: U. R. Shit.
To the girl wearing the Lululemon yoga pants: There was a reason those were recalled. Also, you need a wax.
To the past kvetcher / Leggings are comfortable / Control your penis
Does anyone find it disconcerting for frat court to be bumping Vince Guaraldi?
To the bro who brought a can of spit tobacco and a dip cup to the UL: I’ve never been so repulsed by a dude’s mouth since, well, ever.
UNC women: Stay away from Marcus Paige. We don’t need any more basketball players going to the NBA to support babies.
Sung to the tune of “A Thousand Miles” by Vanessa Carlton: “Faking my way through work, typing fast, classes pass, almost home bound.”
To my AlwaysInTheRoommate: Even if you have no interest in sex, I do. GTFO once in a while.
To the kid sporting a holiday wreath on your bike handlebars, too soon. It’s finals week. #bahhumbug
Blessed is the Kennedy Meeks, for he shall inherit the Earth.
Send your one-to-two sentence entries to firstname.lastname@example.org, subject line ‘kvetch.’
Best part of holiday break?
Columns, cartoons and letters do not necessarily represent the opinions of The Daily Tar Heel or its staff. Editorials reflect the opinions of The Daily Tar Heel editorial board. The board consists of eight board members, the associate opinion editor, the opinion editor and the editor.