Don't Expect Miracle Thursday

True, UNC (6-11, 2-5 in the ACC) is hurting. Hell, we're all friends here. Let's be honest. The Tar Heels have been one mild concussion away from a hemorrhage.

The streaks are a distant dream by now. Twenty losses, a bottom-three finish in the ACC and no NIT Tournament (shed nostalgic tear here) are the new possibilities despite senior Jason Capel's preseason assurance that all would be well under his leadership. He also predicted himself a first-round NBA Draft pick by season's end.

But with this benchmark game on the horizon, UNC has a chance to save some face in what will be the most important game of the season, Senior Day.

That's right, the final home game against Clemson on Feb. 27 will be the key contest of 2001-02. The only streak the Tar Heels could keep from stopping is one having more to do with the Tigers' woes than UNC's tradition.

Clemson's annual trip to Chapel Hill has never ended without the Tigers' tails between their legs. Clemson is a well-documented 0 for 47 on the Tar Heels' turf -- one streak UNC could keep kicking.

What? You thought I was talking about the Duke game? Maybe a respectable showing or perhaps an impromptu win against the rival No. 1 team in the nation could ease some of the pain? A letter confirming your reservation at the nut house should arrive any day.

Some blind optimism has evolved since UNC looked like a hoops team in beating Clemson (11-10, 2-6) on the road. I know the symptoms; once upon a time, I suffered from similar delusions. A lot of hollow talk about how "you can throw out the records when these two get together" and "Duke-Carolina is always close" will run amok as this rivalry game approaches.

Take one giant step back to reality. The Blue Devils have won by an average 88-74 score in eight games during the past three seasons. That includes a UNC win last year and an overtime loss two years ago before a Final Four run.

If the Tar Heels strike a deal with you-know-who and beat Duke, though, don't rush Franklin Street. Go directly home, lock yourself in a well-secured room and don't come out until the nuclear winter has passed.

Certainly the end of civilization is at hand.

But don't raid the Harris Teeter for gallon jugs of water and enough bread to start your own bakery just yet.

Thursday's primetime matchup will be quick and painless. Fans have already been anesthetized time and time again. Duke will simply conduct an autopsy on an already-dead team.

The Blue Devils will pick the Tar Heels apart, their wounds left gaping for the ACC vultures to gnaw at in Round 2 as further revenge for beatings past.

So go to the Smith Center. Duke will deflate any excitement by the first TV timeout, but go anyway because that's what fans do.

Go see history. See the defending national champions. See the best player college basketball has to offer. See a program that has reached a level of dominance unparalled since the glory days at UCLA. See three potential first-team All-Americans.

See them try to add insult to injury, perhaps eclipsing UNC's ugliest loss in the Smith Center (22 points to Wake Forest this year), biggest loss to the Blue Devils or any ACC foe (35 points in 1964), worst loss at home (40 points to N.C. State in 1949) or most embarrassing loss ever (43 points to the Lynchburg Elks Lodge in 1915). If UNC keeps heading for the ACC Tournament play-in game, Duke could get three cracks at some of these marks.

But if any of the above records should tumble Thursday, go easy on the Tar Heels.

They're probably just looking ahead to the Clemson game.

Mike Ogle can be reached at mogle@email.unc.edu.