UNC's Magical 60-40 Ratio, Round Two

That's what I learned most about a lot of people on this campus in regards to my infamous column on UNC's gender ratio last week. So for those of you who were quick to dismiss my perspective, I'd just like to clear my good name before the idea that I'm a loser who demeans all women is perpetuated. To clarify my ideas, I'll respond to some of the e-mails I received.

"Get over it -- society controls and forms our outlook on the world through the media which tries to convince us that our worth is based on our looks."

Heck yeah, but what keeps me from proposing change in the system? If we are compelled to follow the social norms that are set for us then we will never progress. Is there anything wrong with asking the population on this campus to consider aspects other than the attire one might be wearing? All I was doing was emphasizing the misconceptions women might have about "the ratio," so I'll end like this respondent chose to begin -- get over it.

"Is your own confidence and self-importance based on having a girlfriend?"

The simple answer to this question is no. What conceivable reason would anyone have to latch onto someone only to end up in the same place you were when you started -- alone? I know this sounds pessimistic -- of course there are a lot of benefits to having a significant other -- but to say that my self-worth is defined by a girl is unwarranted.

Contrarily, my intention was to suggest playing the field before settling down. No, I'm not advocating being a "playa" so don't send me letters "playa-hating." I'm only stating that people often settle down based on superficial reasons before seeing what else is out there.

"Anyway, yea we berate guys too, all girls do that, we just want someone cool to hang out with, someone not out to just get in our pants."

I agree that there are certain standards that we all look for -- intellectual and emotional attachments come to mind. However, I don't like how you justify your need to find someone cool to hang out with by saying that it's fine that girls berate guys because it's expected. I would argue that it's just as natural for guys to make obnoxious comments. That is an obvious double standard. Again, this speaks to the compromise that I was trying to illustrate in last week's column that some didn't comprehend. Should females be allowed to berate men while we sit idly by?

"Using the DTH as a means to get women to feel sorry for you is lame -- no girl in her right mind is going to read your article and want to go out with you."

Unfortunately, you seem to be under the misconception that I was using last week's article to plead for a date. In fact, I was trying to get people to feel sorry for themselves, not for me. I was attempting to make students see "the ratio" from a different perspective.

I'm glad no woman responded, because it would have fulfilled the stereotype of approaching someone for superficial reasons. Next time, I'd suggest you reserve the use of the word "lame" for your own unjustified willingness to blame me for something I wasn't trying to do.

I really did not intend to harp on the negative feedback I received on last week's column. For those who said the article was "going up on the wall for their female friends to see," to those who thanked me for stepping up to the "self-appropriated (sic) judges" to those who said "you are da sh!t"(that's good, right?), I do appreciate that.

And yes, I did get a few screen names this time, so there won't be anymore appeals to send them -- apparently that's too sketchy. (I guess handing out your phone number to some random guy at a frat party isn't?) In essence, as I've stated before, we all have a guilty conscience. Learn to understand both sides before dismissing one.

Ken does not want his column to become a relationship hotline, so this issue will end here. Reach him with non-relationship questions at kchandle@email.unc.edu.