Nothing faaan-tastic at Bobcats' opener

I was bumming around my room Thursday afternoon when my boy Phil presented me with an intriguing last-minute activity - attending the inaugural game of the NBA's Charlotte Bobcats.

I had several other plans but immediately knew I would cancel them and go to the game.

It's the kind of irrational thing you do when you actually enjoy watching the NBA.

Three hours later, the boys and I arrived at the Charlotte Coliseum to watch the Bobcats play the Washington Wizards, a squad my friend Colin, a lifelong fan, described as a perennial expansion team.

About 7:15, the lights went down and lasered logos began to crisscross the court. The Jumbotron showed a computer-generated monster of a bobcat tromping around Charlotte before mascot Rufus Lynx came onto the court riding a motorcycle as pyrotechnics flashed into the air.

Rufus hyped up the crowd as the Bobcats were introduced, with hometown hero Steve Smith and rookie Emeka Okafor garnering the loudest cheers.

Seeing Charlotte's starters - Okafor, Gerald Wallace, Jason Kapono, Brevin Knight and Primoz Brezec - made me wince. World beaters, they're not.

Smith and owner Bob Johnson then gave short speeches thanking the fans.

"The NBA has come back to Charlotte," Johnson announced. "And we'll never leave."

Yeah, as long as he doesn't alienate his fans to the point that they stop coming to games.

Focus shifted to center court as Charlotte lost its first tip-off.

However, the Bobcats quickly got the ball back, and Brezec dropped in a layup for the first bucket (and lead) in team history.

To spare you the gory details of a painful game, here's the Cliffs Notes version:

-The Jumbotron showed the "Bojangles Chicken Coop" - a group of fans sitting placidly, unaware they were on camera - for 30 seconds during a timeout with no evident connection to Bojangles.

Colin then quipped, "This is going to be the first franchise to fold after one game."

-Gerald Wallace is a walking turnover.

-A white guy won the "Shake it for your shoes" dance contest.

-Okafor used an up-and-under move to get free for a thunderous one-handed dunk, likely the game's best highlight.

That kid's the truth - he put up 19 points and 10 rebounds by playing in the flow of the game. The "Okafor in '04" campaign is officially under way.

-The ubiquitous "Kiss Cam" promotion provided high comedy when it focused on two referees. One was staring away from the camera and was taken by surprise when the other ref violently snogged him from behind. After being released, the ref threw his arms up and shrugged. A good sport, that guy.

-My boy Stevie wondered where Brezec was during crunch time.

"Wheezing on the sidelines," Phil answered. "He's never played more than five minutes in his life."

-With the game tied at 85 late in the fourth, the Wizards scored six straight points to open a lead they wouldn't relinquish on the way to a 103-96 victory.

When the game finally ended, I was exhausted. I had witnessed the worst basketball game I'd ever seen live and faced three hours in Colin's cramped car.

But I got to see the first game in Bobcats history. I'm one of only 23,319 people who can claim that.

The NBA. It's faaan-tastic.

Contact Ben Couch at bcouch@email.unc.edu.