Basketball has the hardware, but football totes silverware

North Carolina is a basketball school, and it always will be.

It’s hard to argue against names like Michael Jordan, Phil Ford and James Worthy. But being part of one of the nation’s best basketball programs doesn’t make you king of the campus.

So I came up with the top five list of reasons why it’s better to be a football player at UNC.

5. The Tony Siragusa meal plan. Forget Lenoir meal plans. Football players get to wield the Siragusa meal plan. You get allocated a certain amount of money for meals, and you gentleman put it to good use.  I know how the linemen hit up every deal beginning with “all-you-can-eat,” and I don’t blame you. If it was my job to remain 300 pounds, I’d take it very seriously too.

4. Fewer losses to Duke. The North Carolina football team hasn’t lost to Duke since 2003. That’s more than four years before the basketball team’s last loss.

3. The origin of Rameses. UNC used to have a tough, powerful fullback named Jack Merritt, but fans knew him as “the battering ram.” In 1924, Vic Huggins, UNC’s head cheerleader, suggested North Carolina find a symbol as domineering as other school’s mascots and picked a ram in honor of Merritt. Not only was Rameses named after a football player, but he also still refuses to attend UNC basketball  games.

2. 20-17 > 68-66. Last week’s 20-17 last second win against Virginia Tech is much more meaningful than the basketball teams’ last second 68-66 basketball win in 2008. Even though Tyler Hansbrough celebrated his shot like Usain Bolt on fire, the fact that UNC’s basketball team almost lost to Virginia Tech makes last week’s football win more meaningful ­— actually worth doing the Hansbrough trot over.

1. Facemask fortification. The No. 1 reason why it’s better to be a UNC football player than a basketball player — your facemask protects you from unwanted Duke elbows (see Henderson, Gerald).

Luckily for football players,  the only Duke player’s arm small enough to fit through a facemask is Jon Scheyer’s — and he plays basketball.

So there you have it — the top five reasons why being a football player at UNC is superior.

And even if you disagree, just ask a basketball player.

All they got was a dinky ring.



Contact the Mark Thompson at markdt@email.unc.edu.