The Daily Tar Heel
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Thursday, Nov. 30, 2023 Newsletters Latest print issue

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The Daily Tar Heel


I am writing in response to the column “Can you really have love at first sex?” (Sept. 21). The message in the article is appalling and pathetic; to legitimize casual, meaningless sex is to perpetuate a culture where sex and relationships are trivialized. Particularly for women, sex is about emotional comfort and trust; legitimizing a culture already plagued with a predominantly physical view of sex is to legitimize a life of diminished returns, for what should be one of the most amazing experiences in life.

Is it too much to ask that we encourage sex to be real? Is it too much to ask that we encourage the building of trust and affection between two individuals, so that they can experience the “titillating” sex that the author so demeaningly trivializes in the piece? Some studies suggest that over 70 percent of women have never experienced an orgasm from sex. Is it any coincidence that they live in a culture epitomized by this trivialized notion of it? I honestly am ashamed to say that I attend an institution that calls itself elite and yet so blatantly diminishes a virtually proven fact that “good” sex coincides with “real” sex. How about we publish an article that actually addresses the mentality you need in order to have the amazing sex our society seems to have no eye for? Perhaps even suggest the radical notion that sex isn’t a way to “create” mentalities, because it isn’t even sex in the first place without them.

Zuhaib Mahmood
Political Science

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