Kvetching board for September 23, 2011

kvetch:
v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

To the guy spitting game who told the InterVarsity girl that although he drinks every day, he isn’t an alcoholic; it’s only so his roommate doesn’t have to drink alone: Lies.

To the international students, I don’t care what you say, you are not a character in American Pie.

To the guy Skyping AND Facebooking his girlfriend in class: I took a picture to show my friends.

I guess I missed the memo; I assumed shower shoes were for showering, not rainy days. Keep it classy, UNC.

How is the recession affecting me? I’ve reused my Alpine coffee cup 11 times this week. No joke.

To the guy who cheated on his girlfriend with me, I’m guessing it was her idea for you to “defriend” me on Facebook — Sorry, “Mrs. it doesn’t change the fact that it still happened.”

I don’t know what upsets me more: the sorority girl in Orgo who wouldn’t share her Bud Light OR that I can now draw the chemical structure of said beverage.

To the guy in the UL with the “ZTA is good” sticker on his laptop: Are you that whipped?

To the girl wearing socks and Tevas, I know the weather has been weird lately, but let’s not get crazy!

To the couple laying horizontal on the couch in the bottom floor the Union: May I direct you to 8th floor Davis?

To the senior in the Union on Sunday reveling in his weekend accomplishments: I think you should sext the 21-year-old sister instead of the one who just turned 18 on Thursday.

If she gets turned away from Players, she’s too young for you, bro!

Dear freshman: Just because you’re taller than me doesn’t give you license to call me “honey”. I’m old enough to be your grad student.

To the two future frat stars on the 7th floor of Davis: That study room isn’t sound proof, and we can all hear that you don’t know your Greek alphabet. Here’s a study tip: A equals Alpha, K equals Kappa, and U equals dumbass.

To the guy who claimed that he was going to pre-game before voting: I think you just found the solution to low college student voter turnout.

To the guy I’ve seen wearing beat-up overalls at least twice this week, I. Want. You. Seriously.

Like any good water conservationists would do, Kenan put five minute hourglasses in the showers. Thank you for making my bathing routine a board game.

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to
opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’