Assistant copy editor Drew Goins (responsible for Britney Spears’ shaved head) and assistant online editor Kelsey Weekman (the one who told Adam Levine platinum blond was a good look) are “You Asked for It,” a weekly advice column in which the two experts give their rarely helpful advice in response to anonymous questions submitted by UNC students.
You: Do girls like my new flow I’ve grown over the summer, or should I cut it short?
YAFI: Depends what kind of flow you’re working with. Do you look like Justin Bieber before he was arrested and/or got almost punched in the face by the elf from “Lord of the Rings”? If so, ditch it. The waterfall of swirling hair around your head is no fountain of youth, and grown women don’t typically want to get with men trying to look like a One Direction poster.
Or do you have long, luscious locks like Chris Hemsworth in “Thor”? If so, dear Samson, don’t cut your hair for anyone. Your hockey team needs that good luck to win the playoffs.
You: I’m in a sorority and am trying to decide whether to live in the house next year. Help!
YAFI: Drew here. After my experiences last year, I figured I could drop some wisdom from the inside for you. I spent last spring with some of my sisters in the Kappa Psi Gamma Gamma Pata Gonia Sigma Beta house.
Honestly, move in if you are the kind of person who wants to be with her friends 24/7. It was great living with my closest friends and sisters. Just in my room, I had Rachael, Rachel C., Rachel S., Raquel, Rochelle and Brittney.
I know you’re probably thinking, “That’s a lot of people in one room!” We totally worked around it, though. Instead of sleeping in beds, we just sewed enormous frockets onto the walls that we climbed into each night! Super cozy! A real (Lilly) Pulitzer Prize-winning idea.
It’s not all Starbucks and Nutella, though. Personal space will be a challenge, and meals in the house can become drab, like: “Ugh, chateaubriand with a nutmeg-infused beurre blanc again? I tweeted a picture of this yesterday!” If you make the big move, be sure to stock up on ramen to add a little variety to the monotony of five-star cuisine day after day.
