Perry Carter (Fitz Grant) and James Scalise (Josiah Bartlet) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.
It was President’s Day last week. Do you guys know any fun facts about the presidents we’ve had?
Hello! Here are some fast facts I know about America’s best daddies.
Washington: owned like 30 foxhounds during his life
Jefferson: invented the wire coat hanger
Jackson: a North Carolina native!
Taylor: died because he ate too much fruit and cold milk
Harrison: was only president for a month!
Lincoln: had that disease that Egyptian Pharaoh Akhenaten had that made his limbs and features super elongated.
Cleveland: technically was the 22nd and 24th president!
McKinley: namesake of the high school on Freaks and Geeks and on Glee!
Theodore Roosevelt: the uniform he wore in the Navy was made by Brooks Brothers
Taft: had a giant bathtub that could fit nine adults
Woodrow Wilson: his first name is a palindrome!
Hoover: subject of a song from the hit musical Annie
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: first presidential portrait in color!
John F. Kennedy: had an affair with Lana Del Rey
Lyndon B. Johnson: loved Fresca so much that he had a tap of it installed in the Oval Office
Nixon: left office on the anniversary of the Nagasaki bombing
Carter: HE AND I ARE RELATED
All I know is all I know, and that’s all I know.
I’ll detonate this little knowledge bomb: James is the most common first name for a president. Madison, Monroe, Polk, Buchanan, Garfield, CARTER. That’s right honey, Jimmy is a James!
That’s it. I have three midterms this week! Just Google some facts if you care so much.
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