The Daily Tar Heel

Serving the students and the University community since 1893

Wednesday May 25th

You Asked for It: In which we get political and/or promiscuous this President’s Day.

Perry Carter (Fitz Grant) and James Scalise (Josiah Bartlet) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.

You: 

It was President’s Day last week. Do you guys know any fun facts about the presidents we’ve had? 

Perry: 

Hello! Here are some fast facts I know about America’s best daddies. 

Washington: owned like 30 foxhounds during his life  

Jefferson: invented the wire coat hanger 

Jackson: a North Carolina native! 

Taylor: died because he ate too much fruit and cold milk  

Harrison: was only president for a month! 

Lincoln: had that disease that Egyptian Pharaoh Akhenaten had that made his limbs and features super elongated.  

Cleveland: technically was the 22nd and 24th president! 

McKinley: namesake of the high school on Freaks and Geeks and on Glee!

Theodore Roosevelt: the uniform he wore in the Navy was made by Brooks Brothers

Taft: had a giant bathtub that could fit nine adults

Woodrow Wilson: his first name is a palindrome!  

Hoover: subject of a song from the hit musical Annie 

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: first presidential portrait in color! 

John F. Kennedy: had an affair with Lana Del Rey 

Lyndon B. Johnson: loved Fresca so much that he had a tap of it installed in the Oval Office 

Nixon: left office on the anniversary of the Nagasaki bombing 

Carter: HE AND I ARE RELATED

All I know is all I know, and that’s all I know. 

James: 

I’ll detonate this little knowledge bomb: James is the most common first name for a president. Madison, Monroe, Polk, Buchanan, Garfield, CARTER. That’s right honey, Jimmy is a James!

That’s it. I have three midterms this week! Just Google some facts if you care so much.

To get the day's news and headlines in your inbox each morning, sign up for our email newsletters.



Comments

The Daily Tar Heel Victory Paper for March 7, 2022

Special Print Edition

Games & Horoscopes

Print Edition Games Archive