When I was a young tot, I was given some intriguing advice by then-Student Body President Hogan Medlin.
He said to us incoming freshmen, “I want you all to be Yes-People! If someone asks you to join an intramural team, you say, ‘Sure, new friend, I’d love to!’ If someone asks you to take dancing lessons, you say, ‘Sure, new friend! I know it hasn’t been invented yet, but will we be learning The Bernie?’ And girls, if someone asks you to write his history essay because he has a big football game that weekend, you say ‘Sure, big new friend, but won’t something like this potentially ruin our University’s image and eventually cause the dismissal of your coach?’”
I might be paraphrasing slightly. Still, the fundamental idea was obvious, and it immediately settled and grew roots in my mind.
But then I thought about it. “Oh Hogan, you sly dog, I see your game! If I want to be a true Yes-Person, I have to say ‘yes’ to studying in the UL at least once for every nine times I say ‘yes’ to waiting patiently next to the cookie trays in Lenoir for a fresh batch to roll out.”
As a general rule, I stay away from studying. Moreover, as far as I’m concerned, a library is an enabler. I avoided it entirely my freshman year.
But last week I remembered how my Yes-Person policy always takes precedent on campus, and I immediately began to feel guilty. I decided it was paramount that the library feel my presence. I would go to library for policy integrity. For horizon-expansion. For Hogan.
So, last Monday, as I wiped the cookie crumbs from my shirt, I strolled tentatively (but alertly) into the UL. Finding a table upstairs, I played it cool and slid into my seat whilst pulling out my roommate’s Chemistry textbook.
I was nervous, and quickly sized up who I was dealing with:
Visible library occupants — 52
Sleepers — 8 (potentially 9)
Diligent students actually studying — 27
Science majors — 27
Accidentally unplugged headphones revealing “Sk8ter Boi” on blast — 1
Seconds gone by before realization — 44
Futile attempts at saving dignity by “accidentally” unplugging headphones again while tasteful indie band plays — 1
Couples too smitten with each other to realize the sweet-nothings they are whispering to each other are getting progressively louder and more sensual — 1
Sighs — 61
Cell phone conversations — 3
Pages I pretended to have read in Chemistry book — every last one of ‘em
Harrison Barnes’ — 1
Beatz headphones — 1
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