While some people might be looking forward to this year’s academic learn-fest (aka seniors who will be out of here in a few months) most are already counting down the days to spring break. For those of you who haven’t even realized your days of freedom are over, this is the blog post for you.
These are the five stages of second semester denial:
Stage one: Denial. It’s a slow creeping feeling of dread that starts at your toes and climbs all the way up your spine. Your homework sits in a pile beside your bed (three political science textbooks, a log-in account to MySpanishLab.com and three unused blue books just waiting for an exam to fill them). The longer you stare at it, the taller the pile grows and suddenly it’s ten feet over your head and screaming formulas at you in-between frantic flaps of the textbook pages. Maybe you should get on that. Or maybe you’ll watch another episode of "My Strange Addiction"...or 20.
Stage two: Anger. Screaming at your roommate, throwing your textbooks on the floor and trying to tear your hair out of your head, this is the stage everyone expects and the one everyone dreads the most. Make a dartboard out of your syllabus, draw ugly mustache faces on your professor’s picture, prank call his office during office hours, do whatever you have to do to get your anger out.
Stage three: More anger. Surprisingly enough, you can get angrier. Ask your roommate to hide everything and anything school related. You might try to shred your textbook in a fit of rage, but you’ll still need it later
Stage three and a half: Even more anger. I don’t know what to say, man. You’re an angry person. Just don’t do anything stupid like throw your computer out a window or Hulk out. Actually, no, go ahead and Hulk out. That’d be pretty cool.
Stage four: Bargaining. You might be able to get out of school if you move to Canada or something, but then you’re in Canada and you’re freezing your butt off and without a quality education to get you a job. Think about all the pain you’ve suffered, all the exams you’ve struggled through, and all the debt money you’ve spent on books and boarding. All that goes to waste if you move to Canada!
Also I think running from debt collectors might be slightly illegal, but that’s not half as important as running away from your problems.
Stage five: Acceptance. It’s over. There’s nothing you can do. Your social life is over, your Snapchat story lies blank, and your Facebook profile is dead in the water.
“This is it,” you think. “It’s the end.”
Five o’ clock on Friday rolls around and suddenly the world is a little brighter.
Yeah, the second semester is sucking all the joy out of your social life during the week, but just wait for the weekend.
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