Mildly annoying, endearingly cute and frustratingly addictive, the little Japanese game Neko Atsume has found its way back onto my phone every time I’ve tried to delete it.
It seems pretty simple — feed your cats, set out some toys and check in every once in a while to see how their doing, but in the few weeks I’ve had the game it has become so much more to me. Getting a memento is the highlight of my day, enticing rare cats to my backyard is my singular goal in life and catching Tubbs in the act of eating all my food (and glaring his little pixelated face into oblivion) has become all I need in the world.
So, which Neko Atsume cat are you?
Billy the Kitten
Personality: Nihilistic
Majors: Comparative Literature, Latin America Studies, Linguistics, Religious Studies, Pharmacy, Sociology, Global Studies, Anthropology
Cute and cuddly with a power level that seems unreasonably strong for your tiny stature, you are Billy the Kitten. Blue skies and wide open ranges are your preferred domain and you’ll settle for nothing less than the freedom they give you.
Behind those beady little eyes lies a brain of pure despair. You believe that life is meaningless and there is no god and that the world is a black pit of sadness and despair and — Wow, those are some pretty dark thoughts for a kitten.
Tubbs
Personality: Finicky Feaster
Majors: Speech and Hearing Sciences, Germanic and Slavic Languages and Literatures, Exercise and Sport Science, Asian Studies, Religious Studies, Romance Studies
You either love him, or you hate him, but he’s there all the same. You know when Tubbs has come by because there’s not a crumb left in the food bowl and the toys are left in disarray because of how fast the kittens deserted. Personally, I hate Tubbs’ fat gut — and he’s knows which is why he hasn’t given me his memento after weeks of waiting — but not everyone hates you (hopefully) and most people actually like you.
Your major lends itself to extreme emotions and while not all of them may be bad, not all of them are good either. But don’t worry, like Tubbs you’re going to do what you want no matter what people say. So you do you and don’t let anybody’s hatred get in your way.
Senor Don Gato
Personality: Scheming
Majors: Business, Mathematics, Mathematical decision sciences, Economics, American Studies, Computer Science
Honestly, I’m not really sure what you guys do, but I know it’s some serious stuff. I definitely wouldn’t want to be in your shoes — even those cute Puss-in-Boots shoes Senor Don Gato wears whenever he comes to skewer the Mister mouse toy — but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate what you’re doing. Color me impressed. And a little frightened. But mostly impressed. As long as that scheming personality of yours isn’t turned on me, that is.
Saint Purrtrick
Personality: Awe-inspiring
Majors: Applied Science and Engineering, Physics and Astronomy, Chemistry, Nursing, Pre-Health, Biology,
I honestly don’t know how you guys do it. Your schedules are crazy, your course-loads are mind-boggling and the pressures of your majors alone would cause a lesser man to crumple under the weight of it all. Nevertheless, you survive and you thrive and you go about your daily life and, yeah okay I’ll stop rhyming.
Basically, you’re pretty cool and you’re also a little weird-looking with those beady yellow eyes, but I guess I’m willing to overlook that for the cool stone you give me.
Snowball
Personality: Mellow
Majors: English, Dramatic Art, Women’s and Gender Studies, Political Science, Media and Journalism, Public Policy, Philosophy, Communication Studies
Underrated and overlooked, you guys are the OG of my heart. You don’t ask for much, you’re not particularly picky about what you want to do or what you’ll eat — I’m looking at you, Tubbs — and you make the perfect friend for those days when you’re feeling a little lonely. Also, you guys are freaking everywhere on campus and I’d be a little worried if I wasn’t so enamored with your cuteness.
This is by no means a complete list of majors or cats, but that’s the beauty of this frustratingly simple game. By the time you’ve collected all the mementos, there will no doubt be an update that leaves you wanting more.
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