Bus driver talk is probably one of the most entertaining parts of using public transportation around campus. You never know what a bus driver might say or do to get you to be quiet, move or even just to spark a conversation with you.
Here are some of the best:
Peace out
If you ride the bus late at night, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Instead of saying goodbye to you, bus drivers literally just say goodnight when you get off. Now I don’t know much about formal goodbyes, but this always catches me off guard.
I mean, is the bus driver really that done with me that the only response they can muster up is goodnight… in other words “please just get off the bus." Or maybe the bus driver just wants me to have a peaceful sleep. Hard to tell.
Relax
Have you ever been on the wrong bus? I have many times. You get on the bus and you look up, and you have no idea where you are. You rush to the front to ask the bus driver what’s going on, and their only response is "relax." Yeah, that totally calmed me down. Works just like coffee.
BRB
Sometimes bus drivers just randomly get off the bus and say be right back. OK, but for how long? It could be minutes, hours, days or weeks before they get back, and you just sit and wait patiently while the clock ticks and all your deadlines pass by. Have no fear; these are just breaks that coincidentally make you late for every possible thing imaginable.
Life story
These are pretty rare. Sometimes bus drivers are just so happy to see you that they want to tell you all about their day, life, what they ate for breakfast, why they drive the bus and if they say tomato or tomato. This is SUPER awesome until you have to get off, but you don’t want to be rude and end the conversation, so you just sit and ponder the ongoing dilemma at hand.
Move back
This is one of the more aggressive forms of bus driver lingoIt translates to, "Move back or the bus driver WILL get up out of their seat and tell you where you need to stand," and no one wants that. But no one ever listens. Don’t be that person.
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