I allow myself to watch one scary movie a year. ONE. What joy is there in watching weird little kids crawl out of wells and mirrors like freak-show contortionists? Instead of even trying to watch a horror film, I’ll just read the synopsis on IMDB so I can hold intelligent conversation, but I can promise you on Jason and Freddy’s graves that I have never even been in the same room as the DVD.
It is a proven fact that if I see a horror film, it will take me at least the next 12 months to get over it — minimum. But now, I’m being forced to live in one, as creepy killer clowns continue to be spotted in towns across North Carolina.
Yes, that is a real thing that is actually happening. No, I am not OK.
— Tiana
QUICK HITS
- The presidential candidates have been heavily discussing the North American Free Trade Agreement. Take a look at how trade has affected North Carolina.
- This semester, squash is all the rage at UNC (the sport, not the vegetable, kids). Students of all skill levels have been using it to stay fit while making new friends.
- UNC professor Stephen Lich doubles as a firefighter when he’s not teaching class, which is the most real-life Clark Kent situation I have ever heard.
IN ANOTHER HB2 RAMIFICATION
The NCAA relocated seven 2016-17 championships away from North Carolina in response to HB2. This is the most recent of many reactions since the bill was passed in March, following cancellations by big names like Bruce Springsteen, Cirque du Soleil, Pearl Jam and Ringo Starr.
IN GOING TO MARS
A high schooler from Raleigh may be the one to decide where the new Mars rover will land. Junior Alex Longo's proposed landing spot, the Gusev Crater, is one of eight locations being considered by NASA for the 2020 launch. I, on the other hand, still make jokes about Uranus.
IN THE MEANTIME
UNC’s newest coffee shop opened its doors for the first time on Monday, and it was met with major success. The Meantime, a student-run business located in the Campus Y, got so busy with excited students that they sold out of coffee on day one.
IN CREEPY CLOWNS?
If you haven’t seen the movie "It," perhaps now is the time to do so. People in clown masks have been spotted hanging out in several cities in North Carolina. Even weirder, authorities have been unable to confirm the existence of said clowns, even after half a dozen reported sightings. In preparation for the carnival apocalypse, we hit the streets to find out if UNC students are afraid of killer clowns.
IN SPONSORED CONTENT
If you're needing extra help learning how to adult this week, check out the UNC Career Services Job and Internship Expo on Thursday, the 15th. Bring your bougie Adobe resumes, online portfolios and other pro moves from our list of tips.
IN SPONSORED CONTENT
And join the Carolina Recovery Program for its month of activities planned for Recovery Awareness Month. The "work hard, play harder" culture of college can make campus a tough place for students recovering from substance abuse, but you're not in it alone.
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