v.1 (Yiddish) to complain
I liked the Chilean Miners when they were still underground, now they’re so mainstream.
To the girls at Davis talking about doing blow, I believe this is an “Adderall Only” zone.
Professor: Don’t say I said something I didn’t say in the debate. You are making me sound much stupider than I am.
To my roommate who showers with the light off and a candle lit, please stop. You’re a guy.
Has anyone else noticed that one of the crossing signs at the Columbia and Franklin intersection is giving the shocker?
To the girl sitting in front of me in philosophy that was Google-searching Plan B effectiveness, I hope for the sake of society that it works.
Clueless classmates — voting for the take home exam over the in-class variety is like asking the judge for 10 years of jail instead of 2. Thanks for a lovely weekend behind (and not in) bars.
To the girls who peed behind the dumpster by Granville, the area is well lit and clearly visible from the stairs. Be embarrassed.
Dear DTH, is it acceptable to kvetch about how below par last weeks kvetches were? We avid kvetchians know you can do better.
Welcome back, Gary.
To the person who is anti-cargos: Please explain to me how guys wearing pink shorts that sit 3 inches above the knee are any better? I’ll stick to my cargos.
Dear fellow conservative: Would you fancy a tea party?
To the couple talking about Pokémon training while standing in line behind me: Do you guys like to do it Growlithe style?
Out-of-staters, if where you come from is so much better than NC, then take advantage of your own in-state tuition!
Hey DTH, if I convert to Wicca, will you do a piece on me too?
Thank you Tyler Zeller for reminding us why an all-white Duke team could never have something like Late Night with Roy.
Terrorism is horrible and cancer is devastating, but nothing is worse than someone saying “Niiiiiiice” in the Borat voice.
If I see one more letter to the editor about being a coal-free campus, I’ll deliberately put myself on Santa’s naughty list to get some.
Dear Hogan Medlin: Forget Late Night with Roy — you can honky tonk my badonkadonk any time you want.
To my roommate: Yes, I know the desktop is a convenient place to put files, but penis pics should not be part of those files.
Send your one-to-two sentence entries to firstname.lastname@example.org, subject line ‘kvetch.’
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