Kvetching Board for January 28, 2011

kvetch:
v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

Dear Rick, Sorry to hear about your freezing hands. I thought they had heat in the Dean Dome.

Dear Student Stores, I appreciate the Christmas trees in the window, but even Charlie Brown would agree that keeping them up through January is a bit much.

Anyone else find it ironic that we use the Student Stores escalator to avoid the steps outside, but walk up the escalator anyway?

Dear N.C. license plate “RUNFAST”: We saw you hit and run that car in Cobb Deck Monday night. Too bad you decided to stay parked in the spot beside it. You are really dumb … for real.

Obama, your State of the Union speech had about as much meat as a Taco Bell chalupa.

Trying to find a place to sit during lunch at Lenoir is like trying to find a girl at UNC — seems like they’re all taken.

Dear Rick, Hogan called. He wants his campaign back.

To my HIST 226 prof who claimed, “not everyone here likes a bush,” clearly you’ve never been to a feminists united meeting.

Does ITS make house calls? Lately the Internet agent in my dorm has needed validation more often than a drunken sorority girl in a tube top.

If I hear that one more person got their tragus pierced, I am going to call the mainstream police.

To my hallmate: Your bright green, unmistakable boxers have been hanging on the shower rack for about a week now, and I’m getting concerned about your hygiene patterns.

To the guy I hooked up with at Beta last Saturday, we should try that again sometime minus the jealous friends, minus our clothes, plus a bed, times all night long. You do the math.

Thanks, UNC, for proving once again that everyone has the right to express their opinion … as long as they’re a die-hard liberal.

To the guys who walked into the Ackland Art Museum and asked if there was a Redbox inside: You seriously got into Carolina?

Wow, a frat actually prevented a rape for once.

To the bird trying to escape Lenoir Alfresco: I don’t really want to be here either.

MyUNC is the bane of my existence.

To the kvetcher who slandered the UNC trombone section with false accusations: Thank you and we will pray for you.

Dear N.C. Republican Legislators and anti-abortion nit-wits: Keep YOUR nose out of MY uterus.

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’