Kvetching Board for February 18, 2011

kvetch:
v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

Can we give Kendall Marshall a nickname already?! The following seem appropriate: Special K, Ken-Possible, and Kendelicious.

Dear UNC Men’s Basketball team: I know our loss to Duke really put a damper on everyone’s moods, but giving John Henson a plastic fork at the restaurant where I work honestly made my week.

To the dude I saw intently shielding his eyes from the late afternoon sun walking through the quad: If only there were some more practical orientation for your backwards fitted hat…

Question for the girl who came outside wearing nothing but a guy’s button up during the HJ fire drill: I’ve heard sex is magical, but you’re telling me that when you did it, all of your clothes disappeared?

To the girl popping Plan B on the P2P Sunday night: Happy Valentine’s Day!

You really made us buy scantrons for the multiple choice part of the test which contained 5 questions? I had to break a $10 bill for that!

To the people handing out condoms in front of Lenoir on Valentine’s Day: Thanks for rubbing it in.

No, frat stars, holding up numbers when girls walk by and screaming “Happy Valentines Day!” isn’t OK.

To the guy taking notes at Byrns’ finding true love lecture: Let me remind you of the male-female ratio at UNC.

Hey Deanna, are you as close to the edit board as you are to Rick Ingram?

Sorry I haven’t responded to your previous e-mails, I haven’t had access to my computer for the past few days. “Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T.” Really?

To the girl tanning in the graveyard: I know the weather has been nice, but WTF?

@Rick_Ingram: It’s hard to believe that you kept this campaign classy and clean when you mock the BOE chair on your Facebook. #youreanidiot

To Harrison Barnes: It’s awesome that you are starting to live up to all the pre-season hype (knock-on-wood), but are you really going to sit in class and Google yourself the whole time?

To the guy in the UL “researching spring break” on Google Images: I saw you turn the safe search off.

The weather should eat some Activia so it will stay regular.

You know you’re a UNC student when you look at every situation as a kvetching opportunity.

Dear suitemate: The fact that your shower tote has been untouched in the bathroom for four days straight says a lot about your hygiene habits. Now we truly know where “that smell” comes from.

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’