DTH at a Glance: Make 'em laugh

I like to think that I have two defining weaknesses: I'm really inflexible and I try way too hard to be funny. Yesterday I went to campus health and I nearly got myself registered as allergic to all cold medicines while I was attempting to bond with the nurse practitioner. She could have fake-diagnosed me with mono and I honestly would not have blamed her. Instead she just real-diagnosed me with strep and sent me on my way because some people are actually capable of being professional, I guess. 

For me professionalism is a stretch, which means it's not happening. I didn't fail that part of my P.E. class all the way through middle school for no reason.

Anyways, a laughter yoga class sounds like my worst nightmare. I would make it all about me and also suck at it a lot. But for the less specifically high-strung it sounds like a really fun, whimsical time.

— Rachel

QUICK HITS

• Charlotte-Mecklenberg police officer Brentley Vinson will not be charged with the murder of Keith Lamont Scott. The Scott family will explore further legal options in civil court according to their attorney.
• The grass really is greener in Kenan Stadium. UNC officials have decided to refrain from installing artificial turf on the football field after several months of deliberation.
• Got milk? If it's extra-white, put it on our new "alt-right" inspired cereals, which are available as an alternative to Kellogg's for those boycotting. 
• UNC's volleyball team is already racking up awards before postseason play. The Tar Heels took home Player of the Year, Freshman of the Year and Coach of the Year honors this week.

IN AMERICA'S NEXT TOP KVETCH

Our kvetching board is, in a word, iconic. For the last board of the semester we rounded up our favorite complaints from the year so far. To the faithful fans fans bemoaning the distance to South Campus and the loyal readers having a crisis over our crossword —we hear you, we love you and we can't wait to see you again in January.

IN P-E-T-T-Y

Charity is the highest form of shade. During Tuesday's basketball game between Duke and Michigan State, a Duke fan in the student section held up a sign that read "The water tastes better in North Carolina." In response, UNC alum Katherine Fitzgerald donated to the Flint water crisis in Michigan for every point scored by small forward and Flint native Miles Bridges. We talked to her about why she felt inspired to donate and the response she's gotten.

IN CALLIGRAPHY COMPETITIONS

Arabic lecturer Farida Badr has created a signature event on campus. She held UNC's first Arabic calligraphy competition last night to help students connect with Arabic culture beyond the classroom. Students from all levels of Arabic classes and some who weren't enrolled competed at the event, which Badr sponsored herself and prepared food for.