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(04/16/14 1:53am)
T he trees are breeding, the tour groups are in full swarm and the academic end times are upon us. I don’t have my cap and gown yet, but I already feel that sickly mix of dread and apathy that means our time has come. And sure enough, there’s less than a month until roughly a quarter of us ride off in the hellish chariot of post-graduate life, pulled by a hairy mutant beast out of Revelations and sponsored by Career Services.
(04/02/14 2:07am)
W hat’s the difference between Vladimir Putin and a chicken trying to cross a road?
(03/20/14 6:15pm)
For anyone unaware, we’re currently making our way through the Christian season of Lent, a period commonly associated in the popular imagination with affluent suburbanites who nobly commit themselves to exorcising Oreos from their diet for about 40 days each spring.
(03/06/14 4:56am)
So you don’t care about basketball. You don’t pray toward the Smith Center five times daily, you don’t get a sense of humble reverence in your heart from reciting the names of UNC point guards into antiquity — and maybe you don’t feel anything toward Duke but a vague antipathy.
(02/20/14 5:46am)
If a tree celebrates Presidents Day in the forest, does it make a sound? And at what point do we care?
(02/06/14 4:02am)
Making sports analogies is like being political on Facebook. It gets you a lot of attention, and you can be saying intelligent things, but it’s nothing some blogger hasn’t already beaten to death, and unless you’re astoundingly subtle you’ll alienate half of your audience right off the bat — but we keep doing it.
(01/31/14 1:45am)
The short answer: It depends. But otherwise there’s a lot of ground to cover.
(01/23/14 5:15am)
It was pink and smooth, a peaceful sea populated by roaming herds of bell peppers and stale bread. It was also gazpacho, and I was supposed to eat it.
(01/09/14 4:07am)
Well seniors, this is it: the point of no return. For those of us eligible to graduate — whether you’re a headstrong, dedicated junior or a boring, credit-conscious senior — something fundamental is changing.
(11/14/13 4:47am)
What’s in a joke? An obligatory Shakespeare reference with any other noun would be just as cliche, overused and meaningless.
(10/31/13 4:27am)
I used to live with a cat.
(10/03/13 3:51am)
Rest assured, your mom meant well. But she might have been unwittingly throwing you onto a self-destructive path to compulsive overeating. But hey! No harm, no foul — only diabetes, heart disease and high cholesterol, right?
(09/18/13 3:00am)
So we as a society see someone do something crazy, right? Crazy here meaning demonstrably irrational — something we can’t imagine ourselves doing, be it climbing a water tower, whispering madly to oneself about gophers, wearing clashing plaids or mass murder.
(09/04/13 3:27am)
Title credits fade. We open on a wide shot, panning across the bloody, urban desert. America is a rogue cop, fed up with the bureaucratic nonsense and moral decay of modern society. He hits the streets like a medieval cowboy, cruising through today’s international wasteland, dealing out his own blend of backwoods, home-distillery justice. Vigilante justice, that is.
(08/20/13 9:41pm)
On lazy afternoons, when I get bored of worrying about the future or forgetting to plan for it, I like to wander down lists of published scientific studies, just waiting until I’m surprised. I recommend it!
(06/11/13 10:07pm)
As with all authoritarian, dystopian societies, this one starts with something relatively reasonable and well-meaning. The year is 2015, only two years after the town of Chapel Hill reinstates a ban on cellphone use while operating a vehicle.
(04/23/13 11:07pm)
There’s nothing quite like the feeling you get when you scratch “sleep” off of your to-do list. It’s intimidating but liberating — another bodily restraint you’ve ostensibly freed yourself from.
(04/16/13 11:59pm)
What would you say if I told you that creative and crazy, in a clinical sense, were not two distinct, unrelated characteristics — that they don’t just coincide randomly once in a blue moon to make some artist lop off half his ear with a straight razor or paint “The Scream”? What if I said they might be different degrees of the same thing? Would you call me crazy?
(04/10/13 12:47am)
Nearly every semester, a not insignificant segment of the student population stuffs socks into its pockets and bands together to re-enact “28 Days Later” and stage military maneuvers in the quad for a week.
(03/20/13 12:54am)
It’s 9 p.m. on a weekday, you’re on spring break, and you’re in a country where the drinking age is being able to look the bartender in the eyes without flinching.