Kiana Cole (Worked on a documentary that just premiered!) and Alison Krug (If she married 2 Chainz, their last name could be “Krug Chainz.”) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.
You: How do I deal with all this humidity?
You Asked for It: Nothing beats spring becoming summer in Chapel Hill, where the “showers” in “April showers bring May flowers” are really just a mixture of tears and sweat from finals and the sun.
The first-year you that was totally planning on majoring in environmental science before BIO 101 got so hard would be disappointed if you decided not to recycle all that good sweat, though. Better yet — recycle the sweat of the UNCelebrities you find on campus. You thought #HatsByShea was a phenomenon? Just wait till the people get their hands on your freshly vesseled #SweatByShea!
Consider confronting the source of all this discomfort in a Western-style showdown. In between class changes, stare into the sun. Whoever blinks first loses.